Chaos

Toss me an umbrella, because when it rains, it pours.

It's early in the morning and I haven't slept tonight so forgive me for not making any attempts at creating a charming post. I just need a good vent. Congratulations! You, anonymous reader, get to be my unofficial therapist. Kick back, grab a note pad (or not), kick up your feet and listen up! Nod here and there so I think you are paying attention. Ready? Go!


Thank goodness its finally my off-week. Work is one less thing to worry about during this windstorm of drama that has blown into my life.

My dogs are sick. Bo had the runs last week, Gus has them this week and has also, for whatever reason, decided now is a good time to lick his upper lip until it is pink and raw. WTF? And on top of all that, Shelly has one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel. Poor Granny dog. At this point letting her go on much longer is practically abuse. DH is calling around pricing the charges for having her humanely euthanized. Dammit! It's like losing a child. I'm sure people with human children might disagree but they aren't in my shoes. These dogs ARE my children. If you want me to experience the difference then go ahead and birth a kid through your own hips and send it my way. Perhaps them I'll quit my bitching understand.

Throughout the giant shit-mess that is my dogs' illness, I've also been under the weather. Just a cold, but still, its wiped me out. All week long my friends at work have told me I looked tired. I guess a forced-peppy attitude doesn't exactly hide the bags under my eyes. Whoopsie. Struggling at work, too. I'm normally near perfection with my processing. I do NOT make mistakes, I tell ya. I made a few doozies last week though with all that was on my mind.

What's on my mind? Oh, yes. The REAL deal causing most of my stress. My mom. Bless her heart, we clash a lot. But when it comes down to it, she's family. I love her.

She's sick.

Doctors found a tumor near her ovaries a few weeks ago. Last week, what was supposed to be an out-patient surgery ended up being a 4-5 hour long "Open Her Up and Get Everything We Can" procedure. I visited her at the Huntsman Cancer Hospital a few days ago and she seemed upbeat, though in a lot of pain. They think the tumor (which turned out to be the size of a softball. Not a baseball, a SOFTBALL!) was benign but the mass on her ovary wasn't so promising. Also, they discovered nodules in her lungs and on her thyroid. Awesome!! (Do sense the sarcasm, please.)

We're still waiting on test results. I plan to call my dad tomorrow to find out if any updates have come along. The worst part is that I can't vent about it on my Facebook account. Only here. The reason behind this is that my mom parents decided that my sister shouldn't be told about what is going on until she comes home from school in three weeks. Apparently she should hear this in person, a month after the fact instead of while she's at school. Over the phone is too impersonal. Seriously? If I was in her position I'd be extremely angry not to be included in what is going on. After all, she is an adult now and should be treated as such, even if she is a little immature for her age. No, the immature comment isn't an insult. I was the same way. Never fear. And in her shoes I'd have been mad not to be filled in on what is going on. A small issue, sure. Wait to tell me. But the doctors have already decided that there will be a few rounds of chemotherapy, at the very least. To me that means a big issue, regardless of the prognosis.

I HATE being asked to keep a secret like this. I'm tempted to just call my sis and spill the beans.

Perhaps I should.


Ms.B