Brain broken, can't focus

I finally fell asleep last night at about 3:30 a.m. Correction, I fell asleep this morning at 3:30 a.m. I had hoped that blogging about M would release some sort of pent-up inner energy but I didn't. I almost decided to come in to work early but then common sense kicked in and I realized I was just having crazy thoughts brought on by lack of proper rest.

Even though my day has officially begun now and I am at my desk, I still can't get my brain to shut up, hence my random blog entries. Instead of doing paperwork, I am brazenly typing away. I doubt my boss would even notice I was being "naughty" if he came in here since my work is always done and I'm not a problem employee.

A million thoughts are trying to go through my head at once and its driving me insane!

Need to complete paperwork. Hired new staff. Old staff better be nice to him or I'll kick their asses! I want to get the ground cover planted on the north side of the house. Holy mackerel, Little Miss Drinkalot posted on my blog! I need to charge my cell phone. What's for lunch? I hate Mr.PBM, I have a meeting at 1:30. AHHHHHH!


I really need a nap.

On a more up-beat note

The backyard of the Haven is almost complete. The fence is nearly done, the weeds are gone and grass is growing in the bare patch where the old outhouse was.

Outhouse? Yes, the prior owners had a decorative outhouse (NOT functional) in the backyard when we first toured the place. They were quick to tell us, during our tour, that it was not staying with the property.

........What a shame.


Last night I managed to dig out one of the two metal posts that were being used to support the old, broken fence to the side of the house. With the new post in, there isn't a need for it any more. The other post will come out today. DH says he plans to remove it. If he doesn't have time, I will be tackling it myself.

*flexing*
Me strong woman. Arrrr.
*realizing I have no muscle tone when I flex*

How sad.

In any case, the hardest of the hard work is all done and it is great to see things coming together nicely. I find gardening and yard work to be somewhat therapeutic for me. My hands in the dirt, making things grow... it's wonderful. And nothing tastes better than a tomato from my own vine.

Sad

Yesterday, there was a report in the news that a woman in Texas had hung her three daughters and then killed herself. Depressing, I know. Sometimes I wonder what could make a person do that yet at the same thought I feel grateful that I DON'T know what it feels like to be in that state since that would be a horrible way to feel.

Mothers of the world, please don't hurt your babies. We want a baby so very badly and are unable to have one. Why do babies come to those who can't handle them, yet our home remains empty?

Ms.B

1:30 a.m.

What on earth am I doing awake? Honestly now, all good girls should be asleep in their beds, yet here I am blogging.

Tonight, as I was whisking DH out the door to work, my cell phone rang. It was my good buddy, M.

I met M at about the same time I met my husband. Nice guy. Mid-40s. Divorced 3 times.

Anyhow, from the moment we met, M and I hit it off. Not in a romantic sense, but it was as if we'd been friends for years. Good, platonic, easy-going friends. Nothing more. EVER!

We'd get together and talk about the dates we'd been on with other people. When I met DH, M cheered me on and was happy that I was happy. When he met his current wife online I did the same for him.

He and his wife, E, wed on June 3 of last year, about 8 1/2 months after my own wedding. It was the fourth marriage for M, the first for E. She is from the Ukraine so M&E had to go through the same VISA process as DH and I. Oh, the joys of importing your spouse. M&E tied the knot in Las Vegas, Nevada. DH and I were there for the occasion and we all had a grand time that weekend. Things seemed to be going well.

That's why M's phone call caught me a little off guard.

I really need someone to talk to. E is working 3 jobs and spends her entire day angry with the world. She doesn't cheer up until 8:30 at night. It's like we are roommates instead of married. She goes out with her friends and seems really happy but when she comes home to me she turns mean.

... I didn't know what to say. I hadn't realized it was so bad. Then he shared more.

We aren't doing anything for our anniversary next week. I offered to send her to Vegas with a friend. I'm not going. There isn't even any reason to rent a room somewhere. We haven't had sex since our honeymoon.

.... What does a good friend SAY to that?

E told me that if I want sex, all I have to do is ask. But every time I've hinted at it she's turned me down. She says she's not as easy as American girls.

.... What does an American friend say to that!!!

I suggested he talk to her about how he feels and he said he already had; that E had told him that she "is the way she is" and nothing would change. Even though he insisted that he still loved her, I could tell he was defeated. My heart broke for him. I managed to survive the rest of the conversation by low-level-managing M with comments like "That's so horrible.", "Hrmm..." and "I'm so sorry!".

Near the end of the phone call he had one more unexpected comment for me.

Some time you should send "DH" to work and you and I can catch a movie together, just you and me.

I gave the obligatory response of "Oh, sure. Maybe we can do that some time. I hope you feel better soon, blah blah blah." that supportive friends DO but my heart wasn't in it this time. Why on EARTH would he need to have me send off my DH and spend alone time with me? I know he needs a friend and I definitely want to be there for him but I am wise enough to see the trouble that a situation like that could lead to.

We'd go see a flick, then he'd drive me home. In the drive-way he'd start to cry about the demise of his marriage and I'd hug him for comfort. Then one thing could lead to another and.... I'd have to kick his ass for trying to make a move on me. A great friendship would be destroyed. I can't risk it. And even if the night was innocent, how would it appear to his wife?

Perhaps I am jumping to conclusions about M's intentions. Maybe the extra attention I've received from Mr.PBM lately has given me illusions of grandeur regarding my effect on the male species.

Perhaps.

Ms.B

Who Knew?

Upon conclusion of my latest trip to the Wal-Mart Super center it dawned on me that I was one of a small collection of individuals who were not yet aware of the proper approach for a successful Wal-Mart shopping experience. Therefore, I submit for approval, the The Etiquette Guidelines for Wal-Mart Shopping. Please alert the other 2% of the population who, like me, have been blissfully unaware of the existence of these guidelines.

Anyone who shops at their local Wal-Mart store must follow most if not all of the following rules:

#1) Never attend Wal-Mart unless you have at least 4 children in tow.

#2) Make sure to feed fore mentioned children lots of sugar prior to leaving your house.

#3) As you enter the parking lot, be sure to whip out in front of pedestrians as they try to make it back to the safety of their car.

#4) Position the wheels of your vehicle so that you are about 10” into the parking spot to the left of you. Also, pull so far forward that the car in front of you can’t get into that parking spot without bumper kissing your front fenders.

#5) As you enter the sliding doors, arrange your 4+ children in such a way that no one else can either enter or exit the store. Linger in the doorway for a few seconds while yelling at the kids to behave or “they’re gonna get it”!

#6) Give at least two of the children with you a cart of their own. Choose the children that are most likely to knock into other shoppers as you maneuver about the aisles.

#7) Do not proceed in an orderly fashion. The children and other carts must be directly to either side of you in order to block as much of the aisle as possible. If you happen to be on a solo shopping trip, remember to park your cart in the CENTER of the aisle. This will create much traffic build-up and, if you are lucky, you will learn some new swear words and hand gestures.

#8) As you reach the end of each shopping aisle, pick up some speed and whip out into the large area at the end. People will squeal and dart out of the way of your cart. It is very exciting.

#9) Half way through your shopping list, encourage your children to become very hyper and dart throughout the store while unsupervised. This will act as a form of birth control for other shoppers who have been considering starting a family of their own.

#10) When you reach the area where all the soda is, sneakily open a 12-pack and drink the contents of one of the cans. Then slip the empty can back into the pack. Once you are done, abandon your cart and make a hasty detour to the closest restroom. Do not wait in line for the next stall, just dart right in and claim a toilet. Never mind washing your hands. You need to get back to your cart so that you can make your way to…

#11) the PRODUCE section! Be sure to finger as much of the fruit and vegetables as possible. Round up the small children and watch with amusement as they pull a large grapefruit from the pile causing round, yellow objects to spill onto the floor. While the other shoppers are trapped amidst the mess, make a bee-line for the cash register.

#12) Once you get there, order the kids to “put back” the toys they’ve collected throughout the store.

But Mama, I WANT IT!!!!

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH

#13) Once you are done screeching, reaffirm that the children do not get to have their toys and make them set everything down in a small pile directly in front of the cart belonging to the person next in line.

#14) Go through the groceries you’ve chosen and select at least 3 perishable items to leave on top of the candy display next to the register.

#15) Take your time putting things on the conveyor belt. Stop every so often to yell at one or more of your children. At this point they should be fighting at the very front of the store and bumping into people here and there.

#16) Be sure that you add everything up ahead of time so that when the cashier tells you your total you can explain that you don’t have enough money and that you’ll need to remove about 7 items from your bags.

#17) Push your cart very very slowly towards the front of the store.

#18) As you reach the exit, realize that little Timmy is missing and stop your cart, once again, effectively blocking the exit. Do not move until Timmy is located!!

#19) Scold Timmy loudly in front of the store. This is a great opportunity to use the new swear words and hand gestures that you learned earlier while blocking the aisles.

#20) Dart out in front of cars as you leave. Cross in front of them at a diagonal angle in order to take as much time as possible. This will get their adrenaline pumping. They might not thank you at the time but it’s that extra rush that will help them survive their next hour in the store!


Ms.B

Girl's Camp

On Wednesday I met most of the girls and leaders who will be on the annual Girl's Camp adventure this year. Admittedly, I was nervous ahead of time. Camping is not my niche. Combine that with the fact that teenage girls are scary enough as it is and you have a sure-fire recipe for disaster. 'Lady Luck' shined upon me though, as the girls turned out to be fun, nice, and interactive. The group gets along well, no obvious clicks or snobbery, and they seemed to include everyone in the activity as we learned about First Aide. A good time was had by all.

I might just enjoy camp this year.

Perhaps half of my fears for this camping situation stem from my experience last year. In my old neighborhood, I was helping with some camp preparation as well. Different leaders, different girls, same objective, and I was not looking forward to it. The ages of the girls and the social circles they traveled in were vastly varied and it seemed that things would not be as cohesive and enjoyable as they could be. The leaders there were rather stuck-up as well.

This new group doesn't seem destined for such problems.

YAY CAMP!

Sometimes Low-Key is best

I am looking forward to a long, un-eventful weekend. The holiday on Monday creates three days for relaxing, puttering, & wasting time. Amidst all the wasted time I hope to accomplish two things. Finish the last planting/fence detailing in the backyard, and wash some laundry. That's it. It is my ultimate goal to accomplish nothing more than that. Dare I hope for so little? I suspect that the DH is going to convince me to go grocery shopping... and ladies from church may ask me to meet with them about girl's camp. Oooh, and my parents could request that we come over for a visit. But even if all these things do happen, the weekend will still, for all intents and purposes, be considered low-key by most.

And that makes me very happy.


Ms.B

Intervention Time

The time has come, my friends, for someone to stage an intervention!

NeoPets has taken over my life! I peek at my account when I wake up in the morning. I periodically hop on the games at work during my breaks (and sometimes between my breaks!!). First thing I do when I get home at night, besides pee, is hop on the computer.

I think of baby paint brushes and rainbow fridges during meetings. I plot re-stock ideas as I do assessments. Yesterday as I monitored the parlor I came up with a new batch of plushies I wanted to collect.

.... AHHHHHHHH!!

I should focus more on work at work. But I don't. Instead, I am patiently waiting for someone to accept my offer on a custard petpet paintbrush. STOP THE INSANITY!

*

*

*

I wish I had a pink paint brush for my Lenny

Do you think the world is ready for it?

Sitting here at my desk minding my own business.

Happily typing away on the June 2007 events calendar for the facility.

In tip-toes Mr.PBM.

"Oooh, working on the calendar!", he says? "That's a funky font!"

He points to the rather every-day, average, easy to read font that the word "June" is typed in.

"Do you think the world is ready for it?", he asks?

"I sure hope so!", I say.

Then he quietly leaves the room.


.............................................. *WTF?*

Our annual state survey team is in the building doing their observations and reading through charts. I hope they check out the kitchen and find enough issues to keep Mr. PBM busy for the next few months. I need a vacation... from him. HELP ME!


Ms.B

Pen Thief

Yesterday was another Mr.PBM fest. He wouldn't leave me alone. At one point he came in the office to tell me he had purchased gluten-free gravy!

Hooray! Gravy!

Gravy? I don't care!

I attempted a new tactic: Stop coming in here to flirt with me!

The look on his face was priceless. His comeback remark was: "I'm not here to flirt with you. You are old news. I came to flirt with insert name of office mate here."

(Uh huh, sure. Considering that both she and I are happily married, his comment was dumb. But just in case, I wonder if I should warn him that she claims to be full of worms. )

Then he left the office... with my favorite pen! The one with a huge tag on it that says my name!! At least it wasn't the $114 Pen!! Bastard!

And the Beat(ing) Rolls On

Yet even more reasons that the Western Conference games are extra exciting. Only this time, the respect with which I say that is directed at the teams in the Eastern Conference. What is up with all the dirty play in the last couple of games? I know the Jazz used to have a rep for playing hard (NOT dirty, just hard... make you earn your points, yo!) but it was the Warriors that disappointed me in game 4. Flagrant fouls left and right as well as that Davis/Fisher contact. I saw the replay numerous times and it didn't look like an accident to me.

"Oops! I just turned and saw you looking the other way so I stuck my shoulder where your face would hit it. My bad."

The worst of it is that Fisher considers Davis a friend. They were teammates for 2 years, for crying out loud. And its FISHER. Everyone loves that guy. He's the spokesman for the players in the league and never mind about the "Disney-esque" story of his family life right now.

And what was up with the foul on Okur? Yes, he was driving to the basket while his team was up. But wouldn't you want to expand the lead against one of the best 3-point shooting teams in the league? Never mind that Barron Davis thunder-dunked on Kirelinko in game 3 while up by about 20-something points with only a few minutes left in the game. Not cool. Not classy. I don't think that Richardson meant to deliver quite that strong a blow, but he did it never the less. And he should be accountable. I don't feel bad that he was tossed. I know teams periodically get a flagrant from time to time. Teams play hard. That's why I don't worry about the flagrant foul in the 3rd quarter when Boozer almost got his head taken off. Sometimes you have to play hard against a hard player. But there are limits.

Tonight's Game 5 should be very exciting. Which young team will step it up? Will the Warriors rise up against the threat of summer vacation, or will the Jazz mature to the point of being able to close out a series in 5 games?

I would like to point out that after the game was over that Fisher and Okur made light of the fouls and said they wanted to focus on the game ahead, that there wasn't a problem with Davis or Richardson. Regardless of whether or not they think those two were out of line, they kept their cool.

Which brings me back to Stoudemire on the Suns. I still think he was wrong to call out the nasty tactics of the Spurs in the media. HOWEVER, I watched game 4 of that series last night and I now see where he is coming from. When did the Spurs turn into dirt bags? I used to really respect them and think they were great. My love for them died during last nights brawl. I'm so sad!! Popovich, get your men under control!!

But at least now I can cheer for the Suns again with less guilt over Stoudemire's comments.

Congrats to the Bulls on warding off a sweep. I will be cheering for you tonight to stay alive. Remember, I do love an underdog.

Ms.B

Oochie Boo

After a few phone calls and some online research we found out that our area of town permits a residence to have a third dog if one of them is a rescue.

Lucky day!

Shelly the Sheltie, aka, Granny Dog, happens to be a rescue. She's 12 years old now so its been a while since she was adopted by DH's family. Fortunately we were able to get in contact with some folks in Canada who were able to hook us up with the paperwork we needed in order to get Shelly licensed. No more illegal alien pooch at the Haven. What a relief to once again be law-abiding citizens.

I have a new video of the canine babies. By "new", I guess I mean a few months old. But it is more recent than the last one I shared. I'm such a proud mama. Here are the Monkey, Wiener and Granny!



Ms. B

The East

I realized, after I made the last entry that I really didn't give any props to the east. Shame on me. I wanted to clarify that I think there is talent in the east. It's just that right now the two series that are going on are not as thrilling as the ones out west.

I am well aware that two of the last three champions are from the east. I know they are capable of shocking the cocky western teams and winning a championship. Those two match-ups are just relatively drama free right now. The Pistons and Cavs are doing their thing. (Sorry, Jason Kidd... I LOVE YOU!)

*ahem*

In any case, I am looking forward to the games this weekend. I love me some basketball. Weeeee! I'd ask for predictions on who will win the games between now and Monday but I don't think anyone reads my blog. Maybe that is why I have the audascity to call fans of a certain team whiny!

O.o

Shame on me.

Crazy Fans... in the bad way

The NBA finals roll on and DAMN are they exciting. At least the western conference match-ups are. The Spurs and Suns are a dream pairing and who would have thought that Utah and Golden State would be so exciting. Holy mackerel! That's the funnest series to watch!

It is sad that something as fun as NBA basketball can bring out the worst in some jerks people. I'd call them fans but I don't think that real fans would act the way some of these goons are. I've been surfing around the fan forums and there is some nasty name-calling going on. I know I risk having one Golden State fan randomly surf on to my blog and take offense so please, PLEASE understand where I am coming from. I do NOT think that all Warrior fans are whiny. There are some true followers out there who have supported their team through their Finals Drought and are stoked that their guys are doing so great; people who bleed yellow. They love their 'dubs'.

Lurking in the shadows, hiding behind random screen names, however, are some bandwagon wannabees that are giving those true fans a bad wrap. Constant complaints. They are really grasping at straws to regain their pride. Stooping to saying the refs gave away games and that they must all be Mormons with 5 wives. It's sad really. What a dumb stereotype. Does saying that crap make them feel better? Are the un-educated non-Californians of the world supposed to assume that everyone from the Bay area is GAY? Of course not. And for the record there is NOTHING wrong with being either Mormon OR gay. I'm just making a point here, folks. And for the record, does anyone think that a ref would have the energy and stamina to keep up with NBA players on a court if he had FIVE WIVES!?

Another stupid excuse is that the air is thinner in Utah so that is why the Warriors lost. Thin air? What the heck? I am aware that there might be some thinner air in states like Utah up through Montana but a conditioned athlete shouldn't have any issues with something like that. And that particular whine is extra stupid considering that the Utah Jazz players aren't from Utah either. They just happen to have an address here since the Jazz franchise gives them their paycheck. Sheesh.

Oh, and here is a good one. The Jazz STOLE the idea of wearing matching T-shirts at their game. Raise your hand if you think that the Warrior's yellow shirts in round 1 were the first time an arena has passed out matching shirts. Anyone? ... anyone? Oh. No one. Hrmm... what a silly argument. I did see an AWESOME picture of the Warrior stars with their heads photo shopped onto a photo of Mormon missionaries that cracked me up though. Now THERE is a visual.

And of course the refs are blamed for the losses. I think the calls were pretty even. The home team always has good karma on their side but the Warriors can't complain about not getting any calls. They had free throws in the game. How else could they have missed them? The guard for Utah was on the bench for half the game as well with two fouls that were called in the first minute of the game. Oh, and with their only back-up guard at a local hospital with a neck injury, they had a lanky, goofy forward playing at the point. What the heck?

Now on the other side of the coin, SHAME on the Utah Jazz fans that are being poor winners and/or retaliating to the rude things that are being said. There is no excuse for saying terms like "The GAY area" or calling all Golden State fans "thugs". Keep in mind that only ONE Warrior is on trial for being a thug and his actions happened in the mid-west. NOT in California. And he is innocent until proven guilty, while we are on that point. But enough of that talk. If I wanted to blog about a guilty man I'd have a Phil Spector entry. Oh SNAP! I'd be shocked shitless stunned if Utah won both games in Oakland.Once this weekend is over, I'm sure that Utah fans will have stuff to whine about too. We'll see how much class THEY have.

Another disappointment is Amare Stoudemire. I am disgusted that Stoudemire said that the Spurs were a "dirty team". Regardless of whether or not he feels it is true, it is NOT classy to say it. I am very disappointed in him. Beating the Spurs would be a major accomplishment and since I consider them to be the best team in the league I've been cheering for the Suns to win. (I'm a sucker for the underdog.) Now my enthusiasm to cheer for the Suns is dead.

I guess I'll have to stick with the Jazz / Warriors series.

Ms.B

I'm allergic to stupid Dietary Managers

I know I blogged about my minor drama yesterday so I appologize up front for my repeat.

My frustration with Mr. PBM is rising. Today he's come into the office 7 different times. First to say hi, then he came in looking for someone else in our office. She wasn't here yet so he sat down to wait for a while. I shooed him out only to have him return about 10 minutes later to show me two pieces of wheat bread in a baggie that he had run over with a cart in the kitchen. Smashed bread? ALERT THE MEDIA!

Honestly, I don't know what to do anymore. When I first met him he said that when he likes a girl he puts himself where she'll be all the time so he can be around her. People in high school had once called him a "stalker" when he liked a girl. At the time I felt that they had over-reacted since Mr. PBM is a nice guy. (And he is, really, he is.) HOWEVER, I am now starting to feel like he's coming on a little strong. I feel like I have a stalker. He hasn't started touching me or anything so I wonder if I'm just being hypersensitive, but I am getting close to making a formal complaint. Or I could just call my husband on the speaker phone each time he comes in the office and talk lovey dovey to him. DH would be amused by that and it might scare Mr. PBM off. A girl can only hope!

Ms.B

...where did I put that pepper spray?

Trouble is brewing here at the care center. Mr. PBM will NOT leave me alone. I've tried ignoring him, I've tried avoiding him, I've tried diversion tactics, I've tried point blank telling him "You are driving me freaking crazy. Can't you just leave me alone?" Today I typed up a document that says: "I will never bug Ms.B's name again." and made him sign it.

On Monday, out of the blue, he asked me what we had done on our first date. He kept on the subject for quite a while, reminiscing about what car he had, and what other dates we had gone on. I started to get rather antsy. I finally told him he was bothering me and that he should get back to work. I do that a lot. Without fail, within 5 minutes of him entering our office I am bickering at him to "get". Today, an office mate said that we argue like brother and sister. Mr. PBM said "Well, at least you don't think we argue like we're married!" I clarified that I don't argue with my husband. (And I don't!)

No matter where I turn, no matter what office I am in, there he is. I volunteered to sit with some residents in the parlor while the regular staff who is normally in there was doing another task. No sooner had my rear hit the seat when Mr. PBM wandered in to talk to me. How he knew to go there, I know not. He is the kitchen manager. He has no reason to be in the parlor but never-the-less, he was.

He comes into the office to use my phone, to use my tape, to borrow my scissors. I've GIVEN him scissors and tape in the past so he won't have to borrow mine. Today he even came into the office, plopped down in a chair and proceded to use his cell phone to call a vendor. Why he couldn't use his own damn office a mere two rooms away? I am at my wit's end. I used to tell myself that he was crushing on my office mate (who is also married, for the record) but alas, I am starting to re-think that theory. I've sternly scolded him for bothering me several times and I am starting to think that he takes my harsh words as a form of flirting. So instead I decided not to talk to him at all, which made him continually ask "What's wrong? Are you okay? Why aren't you talking? Are you mad at me? What did I do? What's wrong? Are you OKAY?"

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

*sigh*

If I was some drop dead gorgeous woman I could understand his reluctance to get over the fact that I dumped him over three years ago. But I am just me. Cute in an average sort of way. Nothing fancy. Lately I don't even wear make-up or go to extremes to style my hair. I'm even being lazy with my clothes. Some day I'll find the box with my summer clothes packed in it and I might cutesy myself up a bit but in the meantime, MEH.

Mr. PBM needs to get a life, get a girlfriend, and get out of my office before I rip his lips off and use them for fishing bait. Or maybe I can poke him with my $114 pen!

Ms.B

The $114 Pen

Shortly before 8:00 this morning, the DH woke me up and I slowely got dressed in a sleepy daze. I staggered out the door, we hopped in our SUV and I drove him to the hospital. I now know that I am capable of operating a vehicle with my eyes closed. JUST KIDDING! We arrived in perfect fashion and began our "arrive-on-time-wait-an-hour-anyway" experience. At long last, the woman who initially greeted us stopped gossiping with her co-workers long enough to ask "Hasn't anyone helped you yet?" She helped the DH fill out his paperwork and then asked us for our co-pay. She then invited us to help ourselves to the jar of pens on the counter. "Your co-pay is $114 and you might as well have something to show for it!", she said.

... Um... yeah. And then they wisked DH off to surgery.

In the end, they told us that he is suffering from a hiatal hernia.

It is nice to finally know what has been causing all his discomfort. Hopefully it will respond well to treatment and he can finally return to a normal routine of working. It's kind of important that happens since he's already used up all of his vacation days for 2007. No trips anywhere for us this year! The recovery time from the procedure was swift. On the way home from the hospital we stopped and he bought fast food. (!!) Wish I could regain my appetite that quickly after surgery. I must be a poosy.

Ms.B

The NBA

Without sharing where I'm from, since I prefer to remain anonymous, I must share the glee with which I have watch the NBA finals this year. Every single series has just been... WOW! So many upsets. So many close games. A few blow-outs. It's what every basketball lover dreams of. And that is what I am- a basketball lover. I'm one of those freaks that can surf past good, in my opinion, shows like CSI and Law & Order and end up captivated by a battle between some random eastern teams like the Hornets and the Pacers even though I AM a western conference girl. I just can't get enough. In college, the hot boys on campus would come to our dorm room to see my cute roommates and I AND to get the latest scores around the league. *chuckle* Pretty sure I was more exciting for my knowledge of the stats than my cuteness. Maybe that's why I made it through school and stayed single. AHH! Yet, I could very well be responsible for the marriages of all my friends from college. I lured the men in and they rounded them up. I think someone, somewhere, owes me a free dinner!

In any case! GOTTA LOVE IT! There are two more games tonight. I hope my dear husband can tolerate all the hoops action in our home between now and early June. He's been patient thus far, bless him, but he's not into basketball. Even though he's 6'4" and could have been a hoops star in another life, he is from Canada and somehow decided HOCKEY was the sport of choice. Hockey. ... Hockey?

Hello Fence, Goodbye Neighbors

Sometimes it takes a desperate situation to bring about good results. Thus it is that the fence we rushed to finish in an attempt to keep our dogs from being eaten by the pit bulls next door will do its job... for three days.

As we were busily attaching slats yesterday, the neighbor popped his head over the fence and chatted with us for a few minutes. We learned that by Wednesday evening he and his family will be completely moved out of the house next door. Because of clashes with their landlords they've decided to move in with his mother and eventually find a new place. No more neighbors, no more dogs eating the fence. I will NOT miss the damn dogs, but their people were good folks and "Good Folks" can be hard to come by. I'd rather have crazy dogs behind our new fence and get along with the people next door than have some crazy, dirty, nasty people move in.

Fingers and toes are crossed that the new renters will be equally enjoyable. And maybe, if we are lucky, they'll be 'cat people'. :-)

Classy Criticism vs. "I Have No Life" Criticism

This weekend, during my breaks between "Build this Fence" adventures, I relaxed on the computer and watched a little television and happened to catch the RHS (Real Hollywood Story) coverage on Rachael Ray. It was a sweet, harmless ditty on her history both personally as well as professionally. It showed her start in the food business as well as the path that seemingly dragged her into the spotlight. The only part of the show that seemed a little "off" was the coverage on an anti-Rachel website called "Rachel Ray Sux".

Let me just express that I have watched some of Rachael Ray's food shows. I've seen episodes of them all. Some I like, some I don't. 30-minute meals is fun. Tasty Travels annoys. I've never tried any of her recipes and I could go the rest of my life without hearing the terms "Yum-O" and "E-V-O-O" (Extra Virgin Olive Oil). HOWEVER, Rachael Ray is far more pleasing to the senses than the sour, fat, bitter woman who runs the website linked above. They only showed her for 30 seconds and that was enough for me. Ugh.

Please understand that I do respect that people in the public eye are never going to appeal to everyone. That is what makes the world exciting. I get that, and I even dig it. Variety is a wonderful thing. But if you hate something or someone why would you invest so much time in them? Spending hours each day on a website, watching every episode you can so that you can pick apart what she says, hanging on every word, buying her magazines so you can criticize the articles, purposely attending her husband's shows at nightclubs so you can mock his music... Can anyone say "STALKER"? No one should spend that much time persevorating on someone unless they are secretly in love with them. Rachael Ray could legitimately be the healthiest relationship that the webmaster of RRSux has ever been in. And that, my friends, is very sad.

Lovely

According to USAToday, Peter Jackson has purchased the movie rights for the book Lovely Bones. It is slated to begin filming later this year.

I find it fascinating that he is the man who won the bidding war to bring this story to life. I first heard of this book about a year ago and did research on it. It is the story of how the murder of a 14 year old girl changed the lives of those who knew her, narrated by the girl herself as she looks down from heaven. It is interesting that the man who will direct this film recently finished the Lord of the Rings trilogy and King Kong. Peter Jackson, you multi-faceted genius, you!

Ms.B

“Sweet as Spice”

Moving out of your parent’s home is a major milestone in any child’s life. I don’t mean “move out to college and come home” kind of moving, but the “left and I’ll never be going back” sort of move. This occurred for me in the summer of 2001. For reasons I am still not completely sure of, I explored some online advertisements to see what kind of housing options there were. I had a good set-up with my parents. My bedroom was on a different floor than the rest of my family and I was well behaved enough that I didn’t have any kind of curfew or restrictions. There just comes a time in the life of most 20-somethings when you fly the coop. And so I did. I responded to one of the ads I saw and a nice gal called me a short while later. We arranged for a moving day and before I knew it I was settled in a two bedroom, one bath condo. My roommate, DeeDee, was a divorced gal about two years younger than myself. We got along rather well at the start. We’d hang out frequently and she always invited me to go clubbing her with her friends. Some times I went. Other times I declined so I could hang out with my boyfriend at the time, Mr. PBM. For about three months everything went great. She had a cute hound dog, Cindy, that was a lot of fun. DeeDee gave me permission to get a cat (Gizmo, the start of my current zoo!) and he and Cindy were the best of friends. Girl talk was entertaining. I’d watch her go online looking for boyfriends and we’d have long talks about how much money a guy should make to be worth a girl’s time. I learned that she only wanted to marry a blonde or brunette guy (no non-whites, please!) because she wanted little blonde babies that looked like her. I never quite understood that logic, but I didn’t worry about it since it didn’t affect me. Besides, all the more hot, dark strangers for me, right? RAR! She also gave me pointers on how large a man’s penis should be and how often a girl should let him put it in her. Advice on what to wear and how to look was non-stop, and she said I should have a job that paid me more money so that I could accumulate the luxuries that she had, like a “big girl” bed (size queen or larger) as well as a washer, dryer and a wicker couch. I always wondered how patio furniture in a living room could be considered a luxury. The only argument that we ever had was during her birthday party when she was extremely drunk and got mad that I was a little annoyed with all the drunk people creating havoc in our home. Someone there called the cops and she was sure it was me. (It wasn’t, though I had seriously considered it!)

*evil grin*

One day the tide turned. DeeDee was a lonely girl. She went through numerous boyfriends while I lived with her as well as a few random sex partners. Most memorably, a super nice guy with kids (who she broke up with due to his small penis) and a rich doctor guy who was just using her for sex. The nice guy was actually a keeper (small penis aside) but she messed up the relationship with him by telling all her friends about his tiny member. That, and she blew him off to date the rich doctor, or RD, as I’ll call him. RD moved to the east coast about two months after I first met him. DeeDee drowned her sorrows in alcohol and then decided that she was going to join the Air Force. Unfortunately she had a rare genetic issue with her hand that made her incapable of hold a firearm correctly and the Air Force denied her application. She tried to stifle this disappointment by re-connecting with the nice guy she had given the shaft. Fortunately for him, by that time he had met a new woman and it was his turn to blow DeeDee off. Oooh, she was mad. She began drinking more and more. Unfortunately, there I was, with a job I loved, a boyfriend I enjoyed and no worries in life. No worries except for her. She became a horrendous bitch literally over night. I couldn't move out of there fast enough. But not before she stole some money from me, charged me for bills I had nothing to do with and, in general, made my life hell. I moved to a small apartment of my very own and lived happily ever after. Okay, so maybe not happily ever after, but sanely ever after. Through mutual acquaintances I heard that shortly after I bailed on her, RD contacted her and suggested she come out to see him. With no hesitation she sold all her furniture, appliances and major belongings and moved to the east coast only to turn around and move home again less than a month later when the doctor broke her heart. All this drama by a woman that was such a pro at giving ME advice on my personal life.

This blog entry is an educational one for me. It has taught me that I am, in some cases, a bitter, unforgiving bitch! You see, about a year ago, as I was leaving the checkout at a local store I saw her. I didn’t stop to say hi, honestly I am not even sure if she saw me. I just hustled out the door to avoid having to talk to her. I am sure we would have given each other fake smiles and done the “so great to see you” bull shit that we always do with old acquaintances. She would have asked if I was dating anyone and hidden her jealousy when I said I was married. She’d ask about my husband and what he did for a living and I’ve had secretly wished I had the nerve to blurt out something about his size 16/wide feet.

The close call did peak my interest, I must confess. As I pondered if she could be married by now, the memory of her online dating attempts crossed my mind. “What are the odds she’d still have a personal ad after all this time?”, I thought. First thing I did when I got home was hop onto Yahoo personals and do a little search. It didn’t take me long to find her under the title “Sweet as Spice”. There, under her requirements for a man were“white and rich”. I book marked her ad and put the link in a random folder on the computer. I periodically surfed to her page every few months when I would find the link. “Oh YEAH!”, I’d think. “ I wonder if she’s still on there.” and I’d take a peek.

Today was one of those random days. With the Internet finally working again here at the office I have been cleaning up my old bookmarks. There was her link. I couldn't’t resist the urge. She's still “Sweet as Spice”. Still wants her Caucasian man. But good news to all you single guys out there. She now has “any” marked on the income bracket. Could the years of desperation have finally made her more open to new options? Did she find Mr. Right only to find he was looking for Mrs. Right? Or maybe she’s just living on the wild side. In any case, the tides are turning and it’s your lucky day, men!

I now present to you, her Yahoo Personal’s Profile, cut and pasted in its original format. (Okay, I confess that I updated it a tiny bit for accuracy reasons, but I didn't let my anal tendencies allow me to fix her spelling errors.)

……….….

“Sweet as Spice”

Okay first off -- I am a girly girl BUT I can still get drunk dirty with the best of them! I love heels, dresses, skirts and all things wicker pink. One Most of my friends at one time or another have told me I look like Beverly Mitchell (Lucy from 7th Heaven), but I think she looks like me. :) I drink laugh at myself on a daily basis - without laughter and smiles life is nothing. I am desperate a sucker for a guy who can make me laugh!

I am drunk funny, attractive, intelligent, and super fun!! I love to travel -- I used to be a flight attendant so I've done lots of it! I enjoy alcohol a good book, movies, the outdoors (in small doses please), walking my dog, yoga, spending time with my nieces/nephews and good conversation (especially if it comes with a good cup of coffee or a good glass of wine).

Money Chemistry is a must! I don't believe in love at first sight, but I believe in attraction at first sight. I am old enough to realize that those "sick to your stomack butterflies" fade and you have to have something deeper to build on. I've got a small dog (what happened to her hound dog?), so you must like her! I love my high heels, so tall guys get extra brownie points! Please note I AM NOT LOOKING FOR A ONE NIGHT STAND. I am in search of something more meaningful that one or two nights of a good time. Let's be honest, if I just wanted a piece, I wouldn't have to look on here for it!! I have a dull great life with a good job and even better friends, so I hope you feel the same about your own life. I am looking for someone to support complement me, not complete me.

If I've piqued your interest or think you can pique mine, drop me a line!

…………….

If only I had the balls to post the link to the real deal. But that would be a little too evil, even for me.

Ms.B

Can It Be True?

After about two months with no Internet or server access at work, the net is finally working. MIRACLE. Although the server access is what I really need, having the Internet again is exciting enough to make me want to dance around while clapping my hands and giggling like a school girl. Of course, instead, I will sit here and pretend to be mature.

I have now added all my old blog entries that were saved here on the computer at work. Hooray for blogging! I had forgotten about half of these topics. It's amazing what one can find to write about depending on one's mood.

In all fairness, I should do some updates since some of my blogging was done while I was in a rather emotional state.

*J is doing well. STILL living with his roommate with no signs of moving back home again. He says he's being trained as a manager. Wouldn't it be great for him to be able to land a great job and excel at it!

*Our kitten is so darn cute! The first week we had her I thought we'd made a huge, I mean HUGE, error. She was grouchy and whiny. Then we decided that her tummy was a little hard and she wasn't pooping enough so we took her back to the vet and they gave her an enema. Ever since then she's been adorable. We weaned her off the bottles of KMR and she's reached a point where we don't have to monitor her for every second. I look forward to the day that she learns to jump up into the litter box so that we don't find little "presents" everywhere around the house. Eeewww. At least the dogs are nice enough to clean those up for us before we find most of them. EEEWWWW!!! That's a whole other blog entry in itself but I will spare you the details... for now.

*Hired one person from the expo. That's one more than we've gotten the past few times we went. She's still here after a couple of weeks and seems to enjoy her work. I am still crossing my fingers that she'll settle in and really enjoy it.

*I had forgotten about my Bampoo entry. It reminds me of the dogs with the kitten turd. Recyling really is all the rage right now. I suppose I shouldn't fault my dogs for being so "new age".


Ms.B