Parents have it rough
It’s hard to watch someone with lots of potential throw their life away. The emotions experienced as I see it happen make my chest ache and I feel a mixture of anger/confusion/concern all rolled up into one. And I’m just the sister!
My brother, J, grew up in a comfortable household with two loving supportive parents in a suburban neighborhood. He’s tall, slender, handsome and outgoing. He went to good schools, wore nice clothes and over-all had the life that some kids would only dream about. Wonderful, well-developed adults have come from less.
Yet, somehow, he has become a loser. I cringe to even use the term but it’s the only one that fits. He’s going to be 22 this fall and just made his second attempt at moving out of my parent’s home. The first try lasted about a month and a half, right up until his roommates and he were evicted for not paying their landlord. J insists that he gave the roomies money towards the bills and that they must have used it for things other than rent. This time around, J has already moved twice. First he moved into a basement semi-apartment for about a week with some girl he knows which didn’t last long after the landlord there became angry and threatened to beat J up when he was told that his renters were moving out. Now they have re-located to a condo owned by the parents of another friend, who will be living there with them. The second location is much nicer than the first, and the friend who’s parents are renting it out happens to be a guy with actual ambition and a real job.
I pray that this friend will be a good influence on my brother. As stupid as the things he does are, I love him unconditionally. I must add that it is okay for me to call my brother a loser, but if anyone else did I might have to kick his or her ass!
(Insert picture of me attempting to flex wimpy arm muscle here).
J has never had a real job. His first paycheck came from Jamba Juice. He started out gung ho and really impressed his managers there. They swiftly promoted him to trainer, and then to a supervisor. A few months later, he was working during a huge snowstorm and J decided that since there hadn’t been any customers for a while he would make the decision to lock up the store and leave for the day. Big mistake!! He got canned.
Second job was at my care center. Again, after the honeymoon period was over, he flaked out, eventually stopped showing up for his shifts and was marked non-rehireable. The supervisor at the time was an idiot (SHOCKER, it was NOT Mr. PBM at that point!!) and some folks understood why J would leave.
Third job was at the post office. It is hard to get a job at the post office. You have to be in the right place at the right time or know someone who knows someone. Government jobs pay really well and have great benefits so they are in high demand. In any case, J was told that he needed to study some detailed information in order to pass a test that would allow him to continue to work. Instead of studying, he partied, drank and smoked his evenings away, eventually failing the test and leading to… you guessed it: getting fired.
Job #4 was at Target. He started with lots of promise eventually being promoted to a managerial position after a couple of months. One of his duties was to re-mark sale prices on opened/returned items. A customer happened to return an I-Pod that had been removed from its package. J decided that it would be a good idea to mark it as $3 and buy it himself. Kewl idea! An I-Pod for $3. No, no NO. BAD IDEA. His boss found out, fired J and pressed charges. J pleaded no contest and now has a theft on his permanent record.
A few short-lived jobs later he started working at Village Inn. He is actually still there (at this point, but who knows what tomorrow brings…) but he wasn’t making enough money to pay off his debts and keep paying for his car. Because of that he needed a second job so my care center gave him a second chance. He came back and started slacking a bit but the supervisor wrote him up a couple of times and got him to toe the line. Eventually potential advancement at Village Inn made him decide to put in his two-week notice here. Good for him to finally try to leave a job on terms that would allow him to list it on a resume or work history. Wrong. He stopped showing up three days after he gave notice. I’ve told the supervisor, Mr. PBM, that he’ll have to list him as non-rehireable.
I guess it all boils down to the fact that I am very disappointed in my brother. The position of Dietary Manager could come available in the near future if Mr. PBM doesn’t pull his head out of his ass. J would have been the likely one to be offered that position. He’s made numerous comments about being envious of the people he grew up with that have good-paying jobs and have purchased homes. J’s dream has always been to have a job where he could make enough money for his apartment, car and bills without having to have a second job. The money he could have earned in that position would have been the answer to his dreams. Instead, he’ll continue to avoid going to college, jump from job to job, and continue to watch the kids he went to high school with grow up and have real careers.
Ms.B
