Tasty Tuesday -Week 11

Pie

I admit it. Ninety-nine percent of the time I HATE cooked fruit. So naturally I'm not a 'pie' gal. (Cake is a whole different story. ::drool:: ) There are some pies that are still nommy to me, though. This week I am sharing a super easy recipe that I found online. I soooo want to make this pie! I found the recipe on allrecipes.com, for the record.

_______________________________


Ingredients

* 1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese
* 1 1/2 cups confectioners' sugar
* 1 cup peanut butter
* 1 cup milk
* 1 (16 ounce) package frozen whipped topping, thawed
* 2 (9 inch) prepared graham cracker crusts

Directions

1. Beat together cream cheese and confectioners' sugar. Mix in peanut butter and milk. Beat until smooth. Fold in whipped topping.
2. Spoon into two 9 inch graham cracker pie shells; cover, and freeze until firm.


One comment by a user of the site linked above suggested making the crust out of Nutter Butter cookies. Holy mackerel!! Sign me up for a slice of that!



Ms.B

Wordless Wednesday -Entry 7

From the computer of my friend, Zane. He titles it:

The Most Ferocious Tiger Ever








Ms.B

Random Fact

My dentist is so damn handsome that even my husband has a crush on him.

I think I WANT to get cavities now.

Almost.



Ms.B

Boyfriend 5.0 v. Husband 1.0

Okay, so sometimes work spam e-mails ARE kind of funny...
__________________________________________


INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
· Romance 9.5 and
· Personal Attention 6.5,

and then installed undesirable programs such as

· NBA 5.0,
· NFL 3.0 and
· Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

· Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate.






DEAR DESPERATE

,

First, keep in mind,
· Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
· Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html, try to download Tears 6.2, and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
· If those applications work as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default toGrumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.
· Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0-program. This is an unsupported application and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend
· Cooking 3.0 and
· Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck!

Tech Support

The Dark Side Of Women...

A woman was in town on a shopping trip. She began her day finding the most perfect shoes in the first shop and a beautiful dress on sale in the second. In the third, everything had just been reduced by 50 percent when her mobile phone rang..

It was a female doctor notifying her that her husband had just been in a terrible car accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU. The woman told the doctor to inform her husband where she was and that she'd be there as soon as possible.

As she hung up she realized she was leaving what was shaping up to be her best day ever in the boutiques. She decided to get in a couple of more shops before heading to the hospital. She ended up shopping the rest of the morning, finishing her trip with a cup of coffee and a beautiful chocolate cake slice, compliments of the last shop. She was jubilant.

Then she remembered her husband. Feeling guilty, she dashed to the hospital.

She saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about her husband's condition. The lady doctor glared at her and shouted, 'You went ahead and finished your shopping trip didn't you! I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself in town, your husband has been languishing in the Intensive Care Unit! It's just as well you went ahead and finished, because it will more than likely be the last shopping trip you ever take! For the rest of his life he will require round-the-clock care. And he will now be your career!'

The woman was feeling so guilty she broke down and sobbed.

The lady doctor then chuckled and said, 'I'm just pulling your leg. He's dead.. Show me what you bought.'

Here are a few things to think about while you are sitting there

Can you cry under water ?



How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated.. instead of just murdered ?



Why do you have to "put your two cents in" .. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts ?" Where's that extra penny going to ?



Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity ?



Why does a round pizza come in a square box?



What SORT OF disease did THE cured ham actually have ?



How is it that we put A man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?



Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like.... every two hours ?



If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing ?



Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?



Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground ?



Why do doctors leave the room while you change ? They're going to see you BUTT naked anyway.



Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural ?



Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?



If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid, DIPPY song about him ?



Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?



If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a SMALL hole in a boat?



Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? aREN'T THEY both dogs ??



If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner..?



If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from...?



If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons ?



Do the

"Alphabet Song"

and

"Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star"

have the same tune?




Why ON EARTH did you just try singing OR HUMMING the two songs above?









Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorroid when it's in your butt?



Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride he sticks his head out the window?



Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?



added by Ms.B : Aren't you glad I post this junk on my blog instead of flooding your e-mail inbox?

A Talent Among Us

Although I tend to remain anonymous on my blog, I have no issue with shamelessly mentioning other folks in my life. I used to be mysterious regarding my job due to HIPAA law, but a new job brings new freedoms. I can mention people by NAME now. Be afraid, be VERY afraid!

This is a good thing, you see, because DH (okay, so the hubby stays anonymous too) and I have have a good buddy at work who has a secret talent. I suppose its not a secret to those who know him best, however most people aren't even aware.

Every day we arrive at work and set up our stations for a night of processing. And nearly every night, we sit with our buddy, Zane-- a superly duperly talented artist. How talented, you ask? He teaches art at the local University. Impressive, eh? He only works at The Lab for the amazing health benefits that they offer.

Today Zane told me I had permission to share one of his pictures here. He even suggested that the chances of him suing me for copyright fraud were slim to none, which is a comfort. If you want to see more of his work, visit his website: zanelancaster.com. Most of the images featured there are political in theme, but he says he'll be adding some of his older work in the near future. The people with stick arms are freaky, but still very interesting.

Tasty Tuesday -Week 10

This weeks theme is
"Biscuits and Bread".

I decided I'd be creative (for me) this week and take a different approach to the topic. So I googled the word bread and thought I'd share some of the neat stuff that came up. An online search is always risky business to be sure. If filters aren't in place, who KNOWS what kind of scary stuff can pop up on the screen. Wouldn't you know it, the second image on my search was a loaf shaped like feces. Yum? Fortunately there were also charming things like bread teddy bears and bread turtles. So cute!!

There was also a clump of grapes, what appeared to be a baked turkey, a crocodile, and HEADS! Yes, heads, and other gruesome body parts. Very freaky, yet cool. And ALL bread!

Of course, there is always the most FAMOUS of breads, the "Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese Sandwich". Apparently the lady who made it kept this sandwich for over a decade before selling it for big bucks ($28,000, to be exact) to an online casino. NO clue what they will do with it. In an interview following the sale, the gal who made it said “I would like all people to know that I do believe that this is the Virgin Mary Mother of God,”.

Yes, lady. Mary, the mother of God has nothing better to do that hang around in your grilled cheese sammich. I ate a tuna fish sandwich as I typed this post, and though I kept careful watch, not once did I see a religious figure in my food.

I must be going to hell.


Ms.B

Tasty Tuesday -Week 9

Theme:
NUTS & SEEDS

An entry that needs no explanation.

None.

At all.

Really.

*stares*




Ms.B

Wordless Wednesday - Entry 6

Ms.B

Tasty Tuesday -Week 8

CHOCOLATE!

With the chaos in my life lately, I admit to being a bit lazy in my Tasty Tuesday entries.

Forgive me!

I am sharing a picture of my FAVORITE chocolate. My entry might be short, but it is very sweet. See's Candies has a Rasberry Truffle that is to die for. Really.

It's amazing. I don't eat sugar much anymore, and haven't for quite some time. But if a dozen of these showed up at my door, I'd eat them without thinking twice and smile as I slipped into a sugar coma.

HEAVEN!


Ms.B

Tasty Tuesday -Week 7

This week's theme: Hot Breakfast

In an attempt to lift the glum spirit my blog has been affected by in recent past, I submit to you my Tasty Tuesday entry for the week.

Put me in group of 10 people, and I'd bet money that more often than not, I'd be in the top 7 when it comes to people with the dirtiest mind. What can I say? I'm a perv. :P So imagine my reaction when I saw the name and image on this juice drink as I passed it at the store. Talk about a triple-take.


It might not be a hot breakfast, but you can certainly drink it in the morning as you consume your bacon and eggs. And it certainly is


HOT!?!

*shudder*



Ms.B