Professionalism at its Finest

An upbeat, nice, friendly gal came and applied for a job here at the care center two days ago. Yesterday afternoon, while I was helping with sack lunch, she came back for an interview with the program director and the afternoon supervisor. They backed up my opinion that she seemed great. This morning, when I arrived at work, there was a note with her application stating "Offer this girl a job!". And so I dialed her phone number.


RING RING RING

And then the answering machine clicked on.

"Shag's Abortion Clinic. You make em, we scrape em. No fetus can beat us! Please leave a message after the beep!"

.......................

!!!

Regardless of anyone's stance on touchy subjects like abortion, don't ya think you'd create a generic phone message when you are job hunting and receiving calls from potential employers?

Or maybe I'm just too sensitive.

I'll give her another call later. Maybe she'll be home this time. If not... perhaps I'll leave a message.


Ms.B

What NOT to do in an interview: Part 3

The proper title of this entry might actually be: "What not to do if you want be asked to come in for an interview."

With the most expensive of all holidays looming before us, the number of applicants at the care center has drastically increased. Fortunately, most of the potential employees have been rather decent. Of course, amongst the good, there are also a few bad eggs.

This morning, for example.

I recognized the woman when she showed up because she had just called me on the phone about half an hour earlier to ask if we were hiring. She took the application from me and I assisted her, along with her husband, to the conference room so that they could sit down to fill out the papers. Half an hour later it was the husband who returned to the office and handed me the application which had been neatly filled out by the wife. Apparently it was him that was looking for work. (Strike One) As they left I placed the application on my desk and made a mental note to run it out to Mr.J, the Housekeeping Supervisor.

Moments later all hell broke loose. Mr. and Mrs. Applicant went moseying up the hallway, ignored a number of posted signs, and walk over the top of a freshly waxed (and still drying) floor that Mr.J was working on.

Mr.J: Woah, Hold on. You can't go this way!
Mrs.A: Well, we are new here and didn't know which way to go!
Mr.J: Go the other way. I'm waxing the floor here!
Mrs.A: *looks down at the ruined floor then continues to walk over it* Well, do it again.... asshole.

At this point, the stunned Mr.J began to defend himself verbally. Not sure exactly what was said, but its a guarantee that there were choice words involved.

A fuming Mrs.A then rushed back to the office area where she encountered the Administrator, of all people, and told him that If that man over there talks to me again like that I'll have his ass!!!!

Office staff then did damage control by distracting the woman and ushering her and her husband out through a more appropriate exit. (Strikes 2,3,4,5, infinity!)

.........

The Administrator wandered into the office a short while later and we had a good laugh over it all. Mrs.A took a card from me with my name and our company number shortly before she went completely insane. There is a good chance that she will be anticipating a call from us. When that doesn't come, I am sure she'll be the one to touch base. I can picture the conversation now.


WHAT I WILL SAY:
Mrs.A: I'm calling to follow up on the application that we filled out the other day.
Ms.B: I'm sorry. We are unable to offer your husband a job. Good luck!

WHAT I'D LIKE TO SAY:
Mrs.A: I'm calling to follow up on the application that we filled out the other day.
Ms.B: You crazy bitch! That guy you verbally assaulted in the hallway was the supervisor who would have hired your husband. Now that he knows you are completely off your rocker there is no way on earth he'll even consider contacting your husband for an interview. Happy Holidays! *click*

Ms.B

What NOT to do in an interview: Part 2

Interview No-No #4: Showing up to your scheduled appointment late. Very late.

I had an interview scheduled yesterday for 11:00 a.m. I've been fortunate in my work history not to have to experience the stress of the interview process very often. And I have never had someone sit me down and teach me any interview etiquette. But honestly, isn't it common sense to know that you aren't going to make a very good impression if you show up horribly late for your appointment? Yesterday at 11:00 the phone rang. "I'm just leaving my doctor's office. I had a physical done. I'll be there soon." I had no problem with that. I thanked the lady for letting us know. I gave the Program Director a heads-up that it would be a few extra minutes and then we waited. And waited. And WAITED!! Finally, at 12:30, we took our lunch breaks. Wouldn't you know it, as we were happily munching away, the bitch lady arrives. Not the best impression to make, considering that she was 5 hours late the day she filled out her application in the first place. Don't think we'll be hiring her... and we are REALLY short staffed. We need people right now.

(Side note: MOVE TO UTAH! We need employees here. It's a great place. Ignore the shit you've heard about the evil Mormons. They are wonderful people, and they only have ONE wife at a time these days. I'll hire you if you move here. $8.50 an hour is all yours. Just show up on time for your interview! Oops! I just said I was from Utah. Um... not telling what part though. Secret.)

Interview No-No #5: Run your yap during the interview.

Okay, perhaps that seems contradict itself. Two weeks ago a woman stopped by to fill out an application after seeing the "help wanted" sign in front of the building. She swiftly filled it out and left after I told her we'd be in touch. Over-all Impression: On a scale of 1-10: 10!

She stuck her head in my office about 5 minutes later and asked if her husband could pick through our garbage and take stuff home. Over-all impression: 3?

I called her and arranged for her to come in for an interview at 10:00 the next morning. When I arrived at my office around 9:00, she was waiting for me. Over-all impression: 2

We sat down, I pulled out my standard interview form and attempted to interview her. In the next hour I learned that she was on her third marriage, that her first two husbands abused her, and that she's tried to take the CNA tests multiple times, each time failing. She hated drunk drivers and forced them to stay at her house if they were drunk. She would hide their keys. (Good girl.) I learned that she had a learning disability and had a job coach. This coach would attend the first few months with her to help her learn the job. (No problem, we could work with that if she was willing to work hard.) She said that if she abused the residents we could talk to her and not involve the job coach. (RED ALERT, RED ALERT!) I'm sure her favorite color, foods and blood type must have come up too but thankfully I've managed to block some of it from memory.

My interview form still sat at my desk at the end of that interview. Not once had I picked up my pen and made any notes. This is because I never had a chance to ask any of my questions. Every time I tried to twist the conversation around to things I needed to know she just kept on talking! I sat there slack-jawed for an hour listening to her ramble on and on... and on.... and on....

and on.... and on... and ON! Over-all impression: -5.

*ahem* Yes, I didn't hire her either. Call me picky.


Ms.B

What NOT to do in an interview: Part 1

For a few years now I've kicked myself for not making a list of the stupid, asinine, moronic things that some people do when coming in to apply for a job at the care center. Therefore I really must take this opportunity to share the "no no"s of job hunting.

Bare in mind that the care center is a laid back atmosphere. We let a lot of things slide. Wearing jeans during your interview isn't going to bug us, although we do appreciate when someone takes the time to dress up. When something stands out as a really bad move, there is a very good chance that you aren't going to get the job. After all, if you can't survive the interview process, you aren't going to last very long with the crazy direct care staff.

Interview No-No #1: Calling on the phone to ask about the job and trying to do the interview over the phone.

I don't know who you are, when you call me. If you need to know something about the job that you saw advertised, great. I'll happily answer any question you have, even the ones whose answers are IN the ad you saw. No problem. But, by all means, do NOT start talking my ear off about your 25 years of experience and how you have 12 mothers-in-law that have special needs. I really don't care. I don't. Show up in person, fill out your application, knock my socks off in an interview and you'll have the job.

Interview No-No #2: Do NOT show up with your friend, spouse, or 7 children.

If you are serious about job hunting, show up alone. If I have to baby sit your kids while you are filling out the application, I will NOT call you for an interview. And don't think that the knowledge of small babies or an ugly spouse is going to make me pity you. I just pisses me off.
True Story: Last year, shortly before our yearly fundraising carnival, I had two women and 5 children show up. Since that many people would be a tight squeeze in my office, I invited them to sit in the Conference Room to fill out their applications. At that point in time, we had received numerous donations for prizes at the carnival and, with no other place to put them, we had placed them, still wrapped and bagged, in the Conference Room. I made sure that each woman had a pen, propped their door open, and sat down at my desk, which coincidentally is right across the hall. Minutes later one of the children shut the door. At first, I wondered if they were just playing with the door but when it didn't open back up after a minute, I walked over and unlocked it. There, inside the room were the two women happily chatting while the oldest child filled out the applications for them. The youngest two children had taken the liberty of opening up the bags of donated prizes and had removed them from their packages. As politely as I could manage, I shooed them all out the door and attempted to re-wrap the toys.

!! ?? WHAT THE HELL?? !!

Honestly, if you are going to have small children in an area like that, at least teach them enough manners to stay out of stuff that isn't theirs. And don't think that locking a door is going to keep someone out when they are the one that unlocked it for you in the first place. DUH!

Oh, and this story reminds me of one more no-no.


Interview No-No #3: Fill out your own damn application.

I love diversity. I love languages aside from the every-day English that I hear. I do. I once dated a guy with the sexiest accent. I think he was from Pakistan. His voice was Oooh-lala to me. I've even tried to learn Spanish, German & Japanese. Spanish in grade school, German in Junior High, and Japanese in college. Perhaps if I had stuck to just ONE of the three I'd even be bilingual now. (Instead I mix them all together and it comes out a mess. Doko wa toilette, bitte? Gracias.)

HOWEVER, if you are going to apply for a job, any job, regardless of your native language, be able to fill out the application by yourself. PLEASE! If you can't apply on your own, you can't fill out new-hire paperwork on your own. And if you can't do the initial paperwork, you probably won't have a very easy time in Orientation, MANDT training, or the staff meetings. It might help if you can understand and answer the questions in your initial interview as well. As luck would have it, two of our management staff are fluent in Spanish, which is great since it is the most common non-English language spoke by applicants. If you want to work in their departments, great. You can interview and train with them and they'll understand. Sweet!

But fill out your own damn application.

Ms.B