What NOT to do in an interview: Part 1

For a few years now I've kicked myself for not making a list of the stupid, asinine, moronic things that some people do when coming in to apply for a job at the care center. Therefore I really must take this opportunity to share the "no no"s of job hunting.

Bare in mind that the care center is a laid back atmosphere. We let a lot of things slide. Wearing jeans during your interview isn't going to bug us, although we do appreciate when someone takes the time to dress up. When something stands out as a really bad move, there is a very good chance that you aren't going to get the job. After all, if you can't survive the interview process, you aren't going to last very long with the crazy direct care staff.

Interview No-No #1: Calling on the phone to ask about the job and trying to do the interview over the phone.

I don't know who you are, when you call me. If you need to know something about the job that you saw advertised, great. I'll happily answer any question you have, even the ones whose answers are IN the ad you saw. No problem. But, by all means, do NOT start talking my ear off about your 25 years of experience and how you have 12 mothers-in-law that have special needs. I really don't care. I don't. Show up in person, fill out your application, knock my socks off in an interview and you'll have the job.

Interview No-No #2: Do NOT show up with your friend, spouse, or 7 children.

If you are serious about job hunting, show up alone. If I have to baby sit your kids while you are filling out the application, I will NOT call you for an interview. And don't think that the knowledge of small babies or an ugly spouse is going to make me pity you. I just pisses me off.
True Story: Last year, shortly before our yearly fundraising carnival, I had two women and 5 children show up. Since that many people would be a tight squeeze in my office, I invited them to sit in the Conference Room to fill out their applications. At that point in time, we had received numerous donations for prizes at the carnival and, with no other place to put them, we had placed them, still wrapped and bagged, in the Conference Room. I made sure that each woman had a pen, propped their door open, and sat down at my desk, which coincidentally is right across the hall. Minutes later one of the children shut the door. At first, I wondered if they were just playing with the door but when it didn't open back up after a minute, I walked over and unlocked it. There, inside the room were the two women happily chatting while the oldest child filled out the applications for them. The youngest two children had taken the liberty of opening up the bags of donated prizes and had removed them from their packages. As politely as I could manage, I shooed them all out the door and attempted to re-wrap the toys.

!! ?? WHAT THE HELL?? !!

Honestly, if you are going to have small children in an area like that, at least teach them enough manners to stay out of stuff that isn't theirs. And don't think that locking a door is going to keep someone out when they are the one that unlocked it for you in the first place. DUH!

Oh, and this story reminds me of one more no-no.


Interview No-No #3: Fill out your own damn application.

I love diversity. I love languages aside from the every-day English that I hear. I do. I once dated a guy with the sexiest accent. I think he was from Pakistan. His voice was Oooh-lala to me. I've even tried to learn Spanish, German & Japanese. Spanish in grade school, German in Junior High, and Japanese in college. Perhaps if I had stuck to just ONE of the three I'd even be bilingual now. (Instead I mix them all together and it comes out a mess. Doko wa toilette, bitte? Gracias.)

HOWEVER, if you are going to apply for a job, any job, regardless of your native language, be able to fill out the application by yourself. PLEASE! If you can't apply on your own, you can't fill out new-hire paperwork on your own. And if you can't do the initial paperwork, you probably won't have a very easy time in Orientation, MANDT training, or the staff meetings. It might help if you can understand and answer the questions in your initial interview as well. As luck would have it, two of our management staff are fluent in Spanish, which is great since it is the most common non-English language spoke by applicants. If you want to work in their departments, great. You can interview and train with them and they'll understand. Sweet!

But fill out your own damn application.

Ms.B