Dreading...

As I shared in my post from a few days ago, I have one of the best jobs in the world. Which is why the fact that I HATE coming to work is such a horrible thing for me.

Normally I spend some time thinking about my blog entry as I type it but today I am going to throw caution to the wind and just vent. By the time this rant is done I will, no doubt, have spelled half the words wrong and used the worst possible grammar but at this point, that doesn't really matter. If I don't unload, I might burst.

Mr.PBM is driving me to the point of insanity. If he's not touching my face, rubbing my shoulder, caressing the electric fan on my desk, waving his hands above my breasts or reaching out to me while singing out my name, he is trying to talk about our first date, or bringing up how he visited me in the hospital while I was sick, or telling me about some cute little inbred puppies that a friend of his has.

I've been rude, I've been nice, I've been indifferent, I've been vague, I've even tried being GONE from my desk for long periods of time! He still won't leave me alone. I have point blank told him "I am very upset with you and I need you to leave me alone for a very VERY long time so that I can forget how annoyed I am. Do NOT talk to me. Don't do it. Pretend I don't exist. Come talk to my office mates, if you must, but pretend I am not there. "

I just can't figure out what to say in order to get him to really and honestly leave me the f$%k alone! My office mate even took him aside today and told him, point blank, to leave me alone and that he was driving me bonkers. "If you don't leave her alone, she is going to kill you!", she said.

Perhaps "kill you" was a major overstatement. I certainly don't want to spend the rest of my life wracked with guilt over killing someone. Especially someone as ignorant and stupid as he is. I'm much to sensitive for that sort of thing. But I would certainly relish the memory of giving him a good, swift kick in the shins! Maybe even a little higher! ARG!

I finally broke down and went to his direct supervisor. I told her how uncomfortable he was making me and that I couldn't make him stay away. Unfortunately, she is going to be out of town for the rest of the week so I might have to go to the Administrator if I want it addressed before next Monday. I hate to involve him but I will do whatever I need to so that I can once again resume the enjoyable feeling I normally have at work. I need to find that feeling again or I might have to quit a job that I truly love. It would kill me inside not to see my residents very often.

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As I was typing this, Mr.PBM's supervisor came in and told me that she was going to call the Administrator later tonight and discuss the situation with him. Most likely, I am going to meet with him tomorrow and let him know my concerns and feelings. It will lead to a meeting between the big boss man and Mr.PBM. Hopefully I will only be one little issue amongst many other concerns they have. That way my situation is addressed yet it isn't the only topic covered. That will keep PBM's mind busy and he'll have other things to focus on besides me. If this doesn't fix the situation I will have no choice but to quit. It's ridiculous to think I'd have to be the one to leave, but I have to look out for my emotional health. Explaining the situation to PBM's supervisor brought me to tears and I am not normally one to cry.

Now that I've vented my frustrations I feel so emotionally drained. Kind of the same feeling I had after my entry about my job, only not the "warm fuzzy" drained. This is more of a "dread, sick" drained. This kind of drained really sucks.

I hope I am doing the right thing.

Ms.B