Happy Afternoon

Today was nice. Barbeque with friends from work. A few rounds of cards.

Relaxation.

Ahhhh!!!

Happy day!


Ms.B

I'll miss you, Shelly

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

Chaos

Toss me an umbrella, because when it rains, it pours.

It's early in the morning and I haven't slept tonight so forgive me for not making any attempts at creating a charming post. I just need a good vent. Congratulations! You, anonymous reader, get to be my unofficial therapist. Kick back, grab a note pad (or not), kick up your feet and listen up! Nod here and there so I think you are paying attention. Ready? Go!


Thank goodness its finally my off-week. Work is one less thing to worry about during this windstorm of drama that has blown into my life.

My dogs are sick. Bo had the runs last week, Gus has them this week and has also, for whatever reason, decided now is a good time to lick his upper lip until it is pink and raw. WTF? And on top of all that, Shelly has one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel. Poor Granny dog. At this point letting her go on much longer is practically abuse. DH is calling around pricing the charges for having her humanely euthanized. Dammit! It's like losing a child. I'm sure people with human children might disagree but they aren't in my shoes. These dogs ARE my children. If you want me to experience the difference then go ahead and birth a kid through your own hips and send it my way. Perhaps them I'll quit my bitching understand.

Throughout the giant shit-mess that is my dogs' illness, I've also been under the weather. Just a cold, but still, its wiped me out. All week long my friends at work have told me I looked tired. I guess a forced-peppy attitude doesn't exactly hide the bags under my eyes. Whoopsie. Struggling at work, too. I'm normally near perfection with my processing. I do NOT make mistakes, I tell ya. I made a few doozies last week though with all that was on my mind.

What's on my mind? Oh, yes. The REAL deal causing most of my stress. My mom. Bless her heart, we clash a lot. But when it comes down to it, she's family. I love her.

She's sick.

Doctors found a tumor near her ovaries a few weeks ago. Last week, what was supposed to be an out-patient surgery ended up being a 4-5 hour long "Open Her Up and Get Everything We Can" procedure. I visited her at the Huntsman Cancer Hospital a few days ago and she seemed upbeat, though in a lot of pain. They think the tumor (which turned out to be the size of a softball. Not a baseball, a SOFTBALL!) was benign but the mass on her ovary wasn't so promising. Also, they discovered nodules in her lungs and on her thyroid. Awesome!! (Do sense the sarcasm, please.)

We're still waiting on test results. I plan to call my dad tomorrow to find out if any updates have come along. The worst part is that I can't vent about it on my Facebook account. Only here. The reason behind this is that my mom parents decided that my sister shouldn't be told about what is going on until she comes home from school in three weeks. Apparently she should hear this in person, a month after the fact instead of while she's at school. Over the phone is too impersonal. Seriously? If I was in her position I'd be extremely angry not to be included in what is going on. After all, she is an adult now and should be treated as such, even if she is a little immature for her age. No, the immature comment isn't an insult. I was the same way. Never fear. And in her shoes I'd have been mad not to be filled in on what is going on. A small issue, sure. Wait to tell me. But the doctors have already decided that there will be a few rounds of chemotherapy, at the very least. To me that means a big issue, regardless of the prognosis.

I HATE being asked to keep a secret like this. I'm tempted to just call my sis and spill the beans.

Perhaps I should.


Ms.B

Oh RAPTURE!

Does it reflect poorly on my life's "excitement rating" when a new vacuum is the highlight of my entire off-week from work? I mean, 7-day vacations twice a month are already a blissful thing in itself, I realize, but this fact is eclipsed by today's purchase.

We were only able to afford it thanks to the air-head bitch nice lady at work who backed into our Oldsmobile with her own vehicle two weeks ago. The damage was minor, but noticeable, and her insurance company stepped right in and cut us a check to fix it. Being as our car was made in 1989, we decided it was more practical to put the money to a better use and thus our Dyson DC28 came home with us. The cosmetic appeal of our 20 year old car can be fixed later. Meh.

We pulled out our 4-year-old Hoover vac and vacuumed the upstairs. Mind you, we shampooed the floors less than 2 weeks ago so they were not too nasty to begin with. Then out came the Dyson. Woa nelly! Oh joy! 2 inches of nasty dirt and hair filled the chamber in no time.

I am officially in love! DH should worry. I might just elope with our vacuum!


Ms.B

Sidenote: We found our vacuum hidden in a corner of the store-- minus its box. It had been returned by another customer for an unknown reason but was in perfect/new working order. It was discounted by $110. If you are in the market for a purchase like this one, take a look around. You never know when you might save a ton of money simply by wheeling the treasure out the door instead of lugging a box. Same machine. Same accessories. Same warranty. And we paid $490 for a $600 vacuum.

Sweet deal!

Dear Bike Thief

If I was rich, I'd buy the kid a new bike. So FUNNY!!

Ms.B

And so it goes...

A few random thoughts:

Kanye West is a moron.


Our puppy Bo started puppy class this past week and is showing signs of being as brilliant as his older brother is. Yay!

Bo also had a snip-snip two weeks ago, allowing us to go ahead and microchip him and get him licensed! He's a 'real dog' now! Yay!

I miss summer already and its not even gone yet. Boo for the cold weather headed our way! My tomato plants only just started producing (thanks to my planting them a month late. Oopsie!) They need more time!!

My car still smells like dead snake. I wonder if I'll ever be able to drive it again.

I hate the word "delicious". I don't know why.

I love my husband. We've been married for four years as of the 17th of this month. Best years of my life. I've never known a person as fun, sweet, caring, and spunky as he is. He's fun!

Do dogs go to heaven?

This is literally a 'church signs' debate, being played out in a Southern town, between the Catholic church and a (fundamentalist) Presbyterian church.

From top to bottom shows you the response and counter-response over time. The Catholics are displaying a much better sense of humor! You get the impression that the Presbyterians are actually taking this seriously!




















Every once in a while I don't mind receiving a mass-email. HA!

Ms.B

Facebook Gaffe

Wow. Every working person has had their fair share of good bosses and bad, myself included. And even a good boss can piss a person off from time to time, I'm sure. But the gal in this image I received via e-mail must be a total idiot. Seriously. For those of you who haven't seen this yet, enjoy.



Apparently this is a REAL Facebook entry by some gal over in Britain.

If I knew who this boss was I'd give them a high-five for their snarky and victorious reply. I'd also bop this gal on the head.

Twice.

Ms.B

From the computer of my co-worker, Doug

I just want to thank all of you for your educational chain-e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.



I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel or have them put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.

I can't use the remote in a hotel room because I don't know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels.

I can't sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.

I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking ones nose (although cell phone usage may be taking the number one spot).

Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of Trans fats I have consumed over the years.


I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom.


I MUST SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.



I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's Novena has granted my every wish.


I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.


I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.



THANKS TO YOU I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.


AND THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE I can't ever pick up $5.00 dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhoea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. Tomorrow afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician . . .


Oh, by the way.....

A German scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.

Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

Magic

No, not the rabbit-in-a-hat-kind, but the geeks-who-play-cards kind.

It's our new entertainment at The Lab on Saturdays and Sundays when we've hauled bootie and finished all our processing early. I never understood the game before, and there is still a lot of learning to be done, but a fancy little 'blue deck' has been created and slowly but surely, Ms.B is going to figure this game out!

I am also trying to build a red/white deck all by myself. I have no clue what I'm doing, but it sure is fun. A whole lot of planning and organizing goes in to making a deck. And then, once you have a perfect set of cards, you still have to be lucky enough to pull the right ones in the right order when you play. Can I just tell you how annoying it is when you KNOW you can beat the person you are playing... if only that darn mana would come out of your deck!? HA!

A few folks at work told me the game promotes devil worship. I don't understand where they are coming from. It's a card game with wizards and dragons and gnomes. I suppose those folks think Harry Potter will corrupt me too. But that's okay. They are welcome to their beliefs. While they are praying for my soul each Saturday/Sunday night, I'll be at a table with a large group of great friends having a whole lot of fun!

By the way, this is my favorite card. It's nearly useless in the game, but this little guy is sooooo cute! I call him Timmy!



I love you, Timmy!

How do you make a boxer sit still?

Anyone familiar with the boxer breed is well aware of their lively and active personalities--- amazing, lovable and full of energy and wiggles.

So how, pray tell, do I get my puppy, Bo, to 'take it easy' and not bounce around during the next two weeks while his boy-bits heal after his neuter?



Ms.B

The Story of Adam & Eve's Pets

Okay, so I know I've had more 'random' posts lately rather than sharing what I'm up to, but that will be remedied this week, I'm sure, since I have the entire week off (again). Have I mentioned yet, how much I LOVE my work schedule? I have half the year off! Sweet. Anyhow, here is another cute story that was sent to me by a friend. --Ms.B


The Story of Adam & Eve's Pets

Adam and Eve said, 'Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us.'

And God said, I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves.'

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased.

And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail.

And Adam said, 'Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.'

And God said, 'I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection
of my own name, and you will call him DOG.'


And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.

And they were comforted.

And God was pleased.

And Dog was content and wagged his tail.



After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, 'Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well.'


And God said, I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration.'

And God created Cat to be a companion to Adam and Eve.


And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.


And Adam and Eve learned humility.

And they were greatly improved.


And God was pleased . . . . . .

And Dog was happy. . . .






Cat didn't give a shit one way or the other...