Professionalism at its Finest

An upbeat, nice, friendly gal came and applied for a job here at the care center two days ago. Yesterday afternoon, while I was helping with sack lunch, she came back for an interview with the program director and the afternoon supervisor. They backed up my opinion that she seemed great. This morning, when I arrived at work, there was a note with her application stating "Offer this girl a job!". And so I dialed her phone number.


RING RING RING

And then the answering machine clicked on.

"Shag's Abortion Clinic. You make em, we scrape em. No fetus can beat us! Please leave a message after the beep!"

.......................

!!!

Regardless of anyone's stance on touchy subjects like abortion, don't ya think you'd create a generic phone message when you are job hunting and receiving calls from potential employers?

Or maybe I'm just too sensitive.

I'll give her another call later. Maybe she'll be home this time. If not... perhaps I'll leave a message.


Ms.B

Not sure...

The girl seemed familiar to me. And when our eyes met she smiled as if she recognized me too. But we didn't stop to talk. Just smiled and kept walking.

I wonder who the hell she was.

I'm positive it was Jam she wanted...

and that's what she got in her lunch today when she neglected to come down to make it herself.

Enjoy your sandwich tomorrow, Miss L.


Ain't I a stinker?


Ms.B


p.s. The tuna/honey would have been more exciting but I am too much of a poosie to risk getting in trouble.

Adventures in Sack Lunch

Ms.B: Hello, Miss L. What kind of sandwich do you want to make for your lunch tomorrow?

Miss L.: What kind do you got?

Ms.B: Turkey and Peanut Butter

Miss L.: Peanut Butter.

Ms.B: *knows she likes Honey and always picks it* Would you like honey with your peanut butter?

Miss L.: I want Jam today.

Ms.B: *surprised at the Jam request* You want JAM today?

Miss L.: YES!

Ms.B: Okay! *begins to scoop jam into a small cup so Miss L can spread it on her sandwich*

Miss L.: What are you doing? I said I wanted HONEY!

Ms.B: No you didn't, you said... *bites tongue* .... okay. Here is some honey then.

.............................

If looks could kill I'd be in jail right now. Miss L does this to me at LEAST once a month. Next time she neglects to come down to make her lunch I'll make her a "Tuna & Honey" sandwich. BWWA HAHA.

But really now...


Ms.B

Randomness

She wants a job so badly that she left me a message at both 2:17 p.m. (marked URGENT) as well as 2:19. Yet when I called her back I got her voice mail.

I left a message saying the position she was applying for was filled.

Darn.

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She tried to be a friend to me, perhaps because of her residual guilt. But what I really needed was for her to be my mother again.

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She saw someone struggling and retrieved a tissue box. Brought it before most others even realized her friend was crying.

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It's amazing how much faster the yearly meetings seem to go when they are for residents you love extra much.

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His old caseworker used to say she was sad to see him doing poorly and would leave to visit him at the psych hospital... only she'd go to the mall instead.

His new caseworker saw early signs of him possibly needing to return to the psych hospital and cried in front of all her co-workers because it touched her heart. I doubt you'll find her at a mall if she says she's going to go visit him.

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She's a spoiled rotten brat. Seeing her with her parents, you can tell how she got that way. If she doesn't have everything "just so" she freaks out and frequently tries to hurt others.

Yesterday she was playing Connect Four in the parlor by herself and I stopped to watch. After a while I asked if I could drop one of the plastic coins in a slot. We ended up playing until dinner time.

For that 45 minutes I really really liked her.

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Carolyn and Caroline are not the same name, nor are they pronounced the same way.

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I doodle on scrap paper a lot during meetings. I noticed the other day that most of my drawings are of snails. I wonder if these pictures are my way of subliminally stating how slow most meetings seem to go.


Ms.B

News Alert

There are reports that a local citizen named Ms.B has morphed into a 12 year old boy going through puberty. Or so her voice would lead you to believe. Cracking, Squeeking. It's not pretty.

Although weak of voice, we're pleased to share that the fore-mentioned Ms.B ate her first solid foods since this past Saturday when she first fell ill. The outcome of this intake of solids is yet to be determined but we are hopeful for a positive return.

Who are we kidding. We're the news. We want DRAMA. We hope she blows chunks so we have something exciting to report about. But seriously, it looks like she's on the mend.

When asked about her progress, Ms.B told us "I feel like a pile of shit. But its a smaller pile of shit than it was yesterday."

And there you have it folks.

Be sure to tune in to our program next week where we'll share our coverage on a local "Crazy Cat" who has suddenly decided that dogs are evil and swells like a puffer fish when one comes near her.

Over and Out.

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*

I'm on FIRE, baby!

No, literally. On fire. My temperature at the InstaCare last night registered 102.5. That's not good.

The final diagnosis was Bronchitis. The doctor has told me to do nothing but rest for the next three days. Honestly, its the beginning of the month and there is a lot to do at the care center. I hope I feel better sooner than Thursday. But if not, I have a note that will hopefully satisfy my boss and assist him in forgiving my absence.

I've whined and complained about being ill in the past but I honestly don't remember ever being this bad. I could barely breath last night until the doctor gave me a breathing treatment. Even after that it was a bit of a challenge.

Feeling gross is never fun but I think I could handle it better if I wasn't so exhausted at the same time. Boo.

Ms.B

p.s. I'm sure my illness has nothing to do with the mold and sewage that filled the air of the care center for the entirety of last week.

*rolls eyes*

Happy Hour

I've been in a great mood the last few hours. No real story to go with that statement. Just figured it should be documented since my last few blog entries were total bitch-fests.

Weeee!! Happy Day!!

Maybe my good mood has something to do with all the open windows and fans in the building that have made the horrible smell in the hallway lessen. Heck, who cares what the cause is.

I'm HAPPY!

For the love of all that is STINKY

The pipes beneath the floor in the office area of the care center have burst (yet again) causing smelly nastiness to spread throughout the entire building. It's shit. It's food. It's mold. It's all the horrid things you'd imagine must run through underground pipes.

The air is thick. Hard to breath. My head aches. My nose burns.

I've been keeping the door closed to keep the smell out and the warmth in. People have been in and out of the office all morning for various reasons. Of all that have come and gone only one has been courteous enough to close the door again behind themself.

That person is one of our mentally retarded residents. Hmmm....



Mrs.B

Frustration

I can't even have a conversation with her anymore. Half way through my comments she interrupts and asks questions that don't even apply to what I am speaking of.

They said what? Wait, WHO said it? Why did they say that? Wait, who said it again?

I wish I knew where my patience went to. I search for understanding as to why she frustrates me so much.

The only answer I can come up with is that I'm a raving bitch.


Ms.B

Yum?

Yahoo! reports that the Chinese have come up with a genius idea for cleaning up their most polluted lake. They are releasing almost 2 million fish fry into the water. Fry that feed off of algae that is making the water uninhabitable for the animals that are at the lake.

Judging by the picture accompanying the article, this is a grand idea. The algae on the water almost looks like green grass you could walk over. I pity the ignorant pedestrian who discovers that isn't the case, the hard way. *SPLASH*

As I read the first half of the article I was thinking what a great idea this was. The further I read, the more disturbed I became though. Apparently, when the fish have matured the plan is to have local fishermen catch them and the sales of the fish to the general public will be double the cost it took to breed and release them in the first place. Again, smart budgeting on their end but... the article said, and I quote,: "Hundreds of factories discharge their waste into Chaohu."

And the public of China are supposed to EAT these fish?

Nasty.

They would get better nutrition from a "Nicotine Candy Bar".

Ms.B

Nicotine Candy Bars

With Mischief on vacation for a week and a half its been just Eva and myself in the office. We're a compatible duo and survive just fine without our sweet Mischief-Ooochie-Boo (can you tell I miss her?) but its never the same when someone is gone. We are best as a trio. Never-the-less, I miss having someone to give "looks" too when Eva loses yet another marble.

Today, for instance, she wandered into the office and said: "Ya know, I got myself one of those Nicotine candy bars and it about blew my top off."

"Nicotine candy bars?!?", I asked?

"Yes, you know. Those ones in the store. I took a bite and I just couldn't finish it. It was too strong.", she continued.

Nicotine candy bars.

"Do you mean the Caffeine candy bars?" I asked her.

"Nicotine, Caffeine. Isn't it all the same?" she concluded.

DAMN, Mischief. You missed a doozie today. Get back here soon!!


Ms.B