What NOT to do in an interview: Part 2

Interview No-No #4: Showing up to your scheduled appointment late. Very late.

I had an interview scheduled yesterday for 11:00 a.m. I've been fortunate in my work history not to have to experience the stress of the interview process very often. And I have never had someone sit me down and teach me any interview etiquette. But honestly, isn't it common sense to know that you aren't going to make a very good impression if you show up horribly late for your appointment? Yesterday at 11:00 the phone rang. "I'm just leaving my doctor's office. I had a physical done. I'll be there soon." I had no problem with that. I thanked the lady for letting us know. I gave the Program Director a heads-up that it would be a few extra minutes and then we waited. And waited. And WAITED!! Finally, at 12:30, we took our lunch breaks. Wouldn't you know it, as we were happily munching away, the bitch lady arrives. Not the best impression to make, considering that she was 5 hours late the day she filled out her application in the first place. Don't think we'll be hiring her... and we are REALLY short staffed. We need people right now.

(Side note: MOVE TO UTAH! We need employees here. It's a great place. Ignore the shit you've heard about the evil Mormons. They are wonderful people, and they only have ONE wife at a time these days. I'll hire you if you move here. $8.50 an hour is all yours. Just show up on time for your interview! Oops! I just said I was from Utah. Um... not telling what part though. Secret.)

Interview No-No #5: Run your yap during the interview.

Okay, perhaps that seems contradict itself. Two weeks ago a woman stopped by to fill out an application after seeing the "help wanted" sign in front of the building. She swiftly filled it out and left after I told her we'd be in touch. Over-all Impression: On a scale of 1-10: 10!

She stuck her head in my office about 5 minutes later and asked if her husband could pick through our garbage and take stuff home. Over-all impression: 3?

I called her and arranged for her to come in for an interview at 10:00 the next morning. When I arrived at my office around 9:00, she was waiting for me. Over-all impression: 2

We sat down, I pulled out my standard interview form and attempted to interview her. In the next hour I learned that she was on her third marriage, that her first two husbands abused her, and that she's tried to take the CNA tests multiple times, each time failing. She hated drunk drivers and forced them to stay at her house if they were drunk. She would hide their keys. (Good girl.) I learned that she had a learning disability and had a job coach. This coach would attend the first few months with her to help her learn the job. (No problem, we could work with that if she was willing to work hard.) She said that if she abused the residents we could talk to her and not involve the job coach. (RED ALERT, RED ALERT!) I'm sure her favorite color, foods and blood type must have come up too but thankfully I've managed to block some of it from memory.

My interview form still sat at my desk at the end of that interview. Not once had I picked up my pen and made any notes. This is because I never had a chance to ask any of my questions. Every time I tried to twist the conversation around to things I needed to know she just kept on talking! I sat there slack-jawed for an hour listening to her ramble on and on... and on.... and on....

and on.... and on... and ON! Over-all impression: -5.

*ahem* Yes, I didn't hire her either. Call me picky.


Ms.B

Tuesday. 3:30 p.m.

"LaaaaaaaaaaHH!"

Orientation is over.

DH loves me...

I know this, not because he rubs my back and shoulders whenever I want,
not because he cooks me dinner on a regular basis,
not because he takes out the trash every week,
not because he cleans out the litter boxes,
not because he brings me lunch at work whenever he can,
not because he gives up some sleep to help me fix things around the Haven,
not because he lets his hair grow long enough to curl (even though he loves it buzzed short),
not because he says cute, charming things to brighten my day,
not because he dropped out of a University, sold his house, left his family, and went through the arduous process of obtaining a fiance' visa in order to move down here to marry me...

but because he bought me a pink Spardel. I have a pink Spardel to go with my newly painted Pink Lenny!

Help me! Still waiting for my NeoPets intervention.

What NOT to do in an interview: Part 1

For a few years now I've kicked myself for not making a list of the stupid, asinine, moronic things that some people do when coming in to apply for a job at the care center. Therefore I really must take this opportunity to share the "no no"s of job hunting.

Bare in mind that the care center is a laid back atmosphere. We let a lot of things slide. Wearing jeans during your interview isn't going to bug us, although we do appreciate when someone takes the time to dress up. When something stands out as a really bad move, there is a very good chance that you aren't going to get the job. After all, if you can't survive the interview process, you aren't going to last very long with the crazy direct care staff.

Interview No-No #1: Calling on the phone to ask about the job and trying to do the interview over the phone.

I don't know who you are, when you call me. If you need to know something about the job that you saw advertised, great. I'll happily answer any question you have, even the ones whose answers are IN the ad you saw. No problem. But, by all means, do NOT start talking my ear off about your 25 years of experience and how you have 12 mothers-in-law that have special needs. I really don't care. I don't. Show up in person, fill out your application, knock my socks off in an interview and you'll have the job.

Interview No-No #2: Do NOT show up with your friend, spouse, or 7 children.

If you are serious about job hunting, show up alone. If I have to baby sit your kids while you are filling out the application, I will NOT call you for an interview. And don't think that the knowledge of small babies or an ugly spouse is going to make me pity you. I just pisses me off.
True Story: Last year, shortly before our yearly fundraising carnival, I had two women and 5 children show up. Since that many people would be a tight squeeze in my office, I invited them to sit in the Conference Room to fill out their applications. At that point in time, we had received numerous donations for prizes at the carnival and, with no other place to put them, we had placed them, still wrapped and bagged, in the Conference Room. I made sure that each woman had a pen, propped their door open, and sat down at my desk, which coincidentally is right across the hall. Minutes later one of the children shut the door. At first, I wondered if they were just playing with the door but when it didn't open back up after a minute, I walked over and unlocked it. There, inside the room were the two women happily chatting while the oldest child filled out the applications for them. The youngest two children had taken the liberty of opening up the bags of donated prizes and had removed them from their packages. As politely as I could manage, I shooed them all out the door and attempted to re-wrap the toys.

!! ?? WHAT THE HELL?? !!

Honestly, if you are going to have small children in an area like that, at least teach them enough manners to stay out of stuff that isn't theirs. And don't think that locking a door is going to keep someone out when they are the one that unlocked it for you in the first place. DUH!

Oh, and this story reminds me of one more no-no.


Interview No-No #3: Fill out your own damn application.

I love diversity. I love languages aside from the every-day English that I hear. I do. I once dated a guy with the sexiest accent. I think he was from Pakistan. His voice was Oooh-lala to me. I've even tried to learn Spanish, German & Japanese. Spanish in grade school, German in Junior High, and Japanese in college. Perhaps if I had stuck to just ONE of the three I'd even be bilingual now. (Instead I mix them all together and it comes out a mess. Doko wa toilette, bitte? Gracias.)

HOWEVER, if you are going to apply for a job, any job, regardless of your native language, be able to fill out the application by yourself. PLEASE! If you can't apply on your own, you can't fill out new-hire paperwork on your own. And if you can't do the initial paperwork, you probably won't have a very easy time in Orientation, MANDT training, or the staff meetings. It might help if you can understand and answer the questions in your initial interview as well. As luck would have it, two of our management staff are fluent in Spanish, which is great since it is the most common non-English language spoke by applicants. If you want to work in their departments, great. You can interview and train with them and they'll understand. Sweet!

But fill out your own damn application.

Ms.B

I love my job!

Ever since the boss man intervened and talked to Mr.PBM I've been so much happier at work. Granted, the meeting they had was on Thursday and I was gone from work Friday-Sunday, but already I can feel a difference. I am happy, carefree, Mr.PBMfree. AHH!

"LaaaaaaaaaaHH!"


So now I consider myself to be cleansed. Hooray for all you poor folks to had to read my rants about him for the past few weeks. Now I can go back to blogging about my dogs. I'm kidding. I think.

Another Monday...

Mondays in general are not my favorite day of the week so it is no surprise that a Monday when General Orientation is scheduled makes me want to tear the hair from my head. Since I have little desire to resemble the recent photos of a bald Britney Spears, I have done my best to avoid this scenario for as long as possible. Alas, I finally had to put it on the schedule.

As Human Resource Manager it is my task to create training binders, notify management and assemble all new staff to subject them to each and every one of the department supervisors here at the care center. If the new additions are lucky, they will be in a new-hire group that is outgoing and talkative and the week will fly by quickly and all will be well. If they are quiet and boring reserved the week feels like a month. I think I'm in luck this time around as the new additions seem to be rather upbeat and friendly in addition to the hoped for "outgoing and talkative". As long as the presentations they sit through manage to be exciting enough to keep them awake, I have high hopes for them all!

Luckily, my part of the training will be done at the end of tomorrow's shift. Then a co-worker will take over the MANDT portion of the training. Tuesday afternoons are always my favorite time of the week when Orientation is going on. It's like the joy you feel after the last test of the semester or the relief when the parents of a particularly naughty child return home to relieve you of babysitting duties. It's the feeling that makes you want to throw open a window and sing... or at least you would throw open a window and sing if you were Jeanette MacDonald in a 1950's musical.

"LaaaaaaaaaaHH!"

Yes, that feeling. I like that feeling.

Ms.B

Hollywood's Beautiful Men

Today's focus is on the men in my life who I fondly refer to as DAMN SEXY!

My list is short. Of course my DH is at the very top.



Biased as I am, he is a stud muffin and makes my heart go pity-pat. I think its his eyes. Or maybe something about his smile. Oh,I don't know. I'm just fond of the kid. I wish this computer here at work had the shot of him at our open house. That photo makes my knees weak. Hollywood's finest are put to shame by that photo.

*********


When it comes to Hollywood Lust Objects I have two. One is a classic icon. The other is a relative new-comer. Well, I suppose he's been around a while, he just hasn't been splashed across the media like some of the man whores in today's spotlight.

Sean Connery



Yes, good ol' 007 himself. Alas, I have never seen his James Bond performances. I fell in love with Mr. Connery while watching Darby O' Gill and the Little People when I was knee high. Oooh! As campy as that movie is, Sean Connery was hot hot HOT stuff there. I spent half of my growing up years wishing I was "Katie". Lucky bitch!


Jim Caviezel



My modern day heart throb. I know 90% of the women today are singing the praises of actors like Orlando Bloom and Brad Pitt. And that's okay, really! But it is this man right here that really gets me sparking. Whoooie! I own most of his movies. Alas, I have never seen his portrayal of Jesus Christ in The Passion of the Christ. I'm told it is genius. Due to the fact that I am very sensitive when it comes to media violence, I can not watch it. Also, I choose not to watch a man that I consider to be a "hottie" play the role of someone so loved and revered by the world. I'd feel dirty lusting Jesus. It's just wrong. WRONG, I say!

And there you have it. My short but sweet list of the hot men of Hollywood.

Perhaps, some day I will share my hottie list of Men in Music.

Ms.B

Dreading...

As I shared in my post from a few days ago, I have one of the best jobs in the world. Which is why the fact that I HATE coming to work is such a horrible thing for me.

Normally I spend some time thinking about my blog entry as I type it but today I am going to throw caution to the wind and just vent. By the time this rant is done I will, no doubt, have spelled half the words wrong and used the worst possible grammar but at this point, that doesn't really matter. If I don't unload, I might burst.

Mr.PBM is driving me to the point of insanity. If he's not touching my face, rubbing my shoulder, caressing the electric fan on my desk, waving his hands above my breasts or reaching out to me while singing out my name, he is trying to talk about our first date, or bringing up how he visited me in the hospital while I was sick, or telling me about some cute little inbred puppies that a friend of his has.

I've been rude, I've been nice, I've been indifferent, I've been vague, I've even tried being GONE from my desk for long periods of time! He still won't leave me alone. I have point blank told him "I am very upset with you and I need you to leave me alone for a very VERY long time so that I can forget how annoyed I am. Do NOT talk to me. Don't do it. Pretend I don't exist. Come talk to my office mates, if you must, but pretend I am not there. "

I just can't figure out what to say in order to get him to really and honestly leave me the f$%k alone! My office mate even took him aside today and told him, point blank, to leave me alone and that he was driving me bonkers. "If you don't leave her alone, she is going to kill you!", she said.

Perhaps "kill you" was a major overstatement. I certainly don't want to spend the rest of my life wracked with guilt over killing someone. Especially someone as ignorant and stupid as he is. I'm much to sensitive for that sort of thing. But I would certainly relish the memory of giving him a good, swift kick in the shins! Maybe even a little higher! ARG!

I finally broke down and went to his direct supervisor. I told her how uncomfortable he was making me and that I couldn't make him stay away. Unfortunately, she is going to be out of town for the rest of the week so I might have to go to the Administrator if I want it addressed before next Monday. I hate to involve him but I will do whatever I need to so that I can once again resume the enjoyable feeling I normally have at work. I need to find that feeling again or I might have to quit a job that I truly love. It would kill me inside not to see my residents very often.

********

As I was typing this, Mr.PBM's supervisor came in and told me that she was going to call the Administrator later tonight and discuss the situation with him. Most likely, I am going to meet with him tomorrow and let him know my concerns and feelings. It will lead to a meeting between the big boss man and Mr.PBM. Hopefully I will only be one little issue amongst many other concerns they have. That way my situation is addressed yet it isn't the only topic covered. That will keep PBM's mind busy and he'll have other things to focus on besides me. If this doesn't fix the situation I will have no choice but to quit. It's ridiculous to think I'd have to be the one to leave, but I have to look out for my emotional health. Explaining the situation to PBM's supervisor brought me to tears and I am not normally one to cry.

Now that I've vented my frustrations I feel so emotionally drained. Kind of the same feeling I had after my entry about my job, only not the "warm fuzzy" drained. This is more of a "dread, sick" drained. This kind of drained really sucks.

I hope I am doing the right thing.

Ms.B

Allow me to boast

Since the only real blog entry I've made concerning my two siblings was a long rant about how my brother is a loser, I decided I should share their recent triumphs so as to give a fair report.

My brother has a new, better job now. Yes, I know he's not at the main job he had before which means that yet again he left a place with little or no warning. However, I kind of understand why he did it this time and now he is working at a restaurant called the "Olive Garden". Those of you who have eaten there will know what a step up this is from the 24-hour diner he was in before. He's earning up to $150 a night in tips alone and is really making it on his own. Good boy.

My sister is about to be a senior in High School. The last month of the school year is always the yearly art festival. On a whim, she decided that she'd enter a drawing. Basically she snatched up something she had done recently, put it on a mat, and submitted it. The result--- best in show. Wow. She's really that good. I need to get her to do a sketch for me so I will have something to sell on eBay when she becomes famous. :0

*****

I am trying to focus on the positives lately. Recently, I learned that my cousin, the author, has been diagnosed with liver cancer. I was also told that my 90-something year-old grandmother is showing signs of losing her marbles. Scary. Sad.


Ms.B

Ben Affleck, you softy, you!

Imagine my surprise when, after making the earlier blog entry (which left me rather emotionally drained), I surfed to Yahoo News and found this story. Talk about tugging at a person's heart strings. AWWWW!

Affleck talks at teen pal's graduation

By MATTHEW BARAKAT, Associated Press Writer

FAIRFAX, Va.

Ben Affleck cracked jokes about his film career during a high-school commencement speech Friday while giving a heartfelt tribute to a graduating student he befriended years ago.

Students at Falls Church High School and family members gave a standing ovation to Affleck following his commencement speech, in which he praised 19-year-old Joe Kindregan, a disabled student he met in 1998 on a film shoot. The two built a close friendship.

"Everything I learned about life that really matters ... I learned from Joe," Affleck told the audience.

Kindregan suffers from ataxia-telengiectasia, a rare, degenerative genetic disease. Over the past decade, Affleck has helped Kindregan raise money to develop a cure for the disease.

The close nature of the pair's friendship was evident at Friday's ceremony; Affleck planted a kiss on Kindregan's forehead after being introduced and later playfully swatted him with a rolled-up program.

The two met in 1998 when the Kindregans came to Dulles International Airport to watch a crew shoot the film "Forces of Nature," which starred Affleck. The actor noticed Kindregan, then 10 years old, in his wheelchair and struck up a conversation.

Affleck jokingly explained to the 284 graduating seniors — who most likely never saw the film — that "it was very similar to another movie called "Citizen Kane.'"

Affleck said Kindregan has since been on the set of all of his films — "He liked being on the set of `Daredevil' a lot more than being on the set of (box-office bomb) `Gigli.' But he was too polite to mention it," Affleck said.

Kindregan introduced Affleck to the audience by saying "He is married to the cutest girl (Jennifer Garner) ... but most important he is the best friend you could ever have." Kindregan declined to be interviewed.

Affleck, dressed in a traditional graduation gown, sat on the dais next to Kindregan and other school officials and shook hands with students who came up on stage to receive their diplomas. A few were bold enough to ask for a hug, and Affleck obliged.

"He's a good hugger," said graduate Melinda Wodatch. She said Affleck's presence added to a memorable event. "I think all the kids were actually listening to his speech," she said.

Garner attended the graduation but did not participate in the ceremonies.

Lesser of Two Evils

Due to the nature of my job, I have chosen to remain anonymous on my blog. HIPAA regulations are very strict and those who break them run the risk of receiving large fines and serving jail time. Since I am poor and have no desire to be someone's bitch in prison, I figure I'll just keep my yap shut when it comes to name and location.

To this point I really haven't written much about work, aside from my periodic, therepeutic rants about Mr.PBM and my entry explaining the asinine status of some of the direct care staff.

Working in a care center for individuals with mental handicaps is the most interesting job in the world. Many times, when people hear what I do for a living, they pat my arm and say things like "I could never do that." or "Bless you. Someone has to work with those people." I try not to become offended by their ignorance. After all, I could just as easily hear myself saying the same thing to a brain surgeon. I could never do that.

The most important thing, when it comes to residents like mine, is to remember that they are people just like anyone else. They are adults. They have feelings. If you cut them, they bleed. Honestly, it might seem like I am stating the obvious, but so many people who meet my them become a different person. I've seen people's nasty stares when we're at a public place. I've seen well-meaning volunteers come in and baby talk at them as if they were 6 months old. There is even a gas station down the street that has a restraining order in place against one of our residents because he doesn't know any better than to sneak out of the building with 30 cents in his pocket and head down the road for a coffee. We've asked the store to keep a tab for us and we'll pay for anything he takes, but instead of being compassionate, they decided they'd "Ban the Retard".

What the hell?

I wish I could sit them all down and explain the amazing way that caring for someone unconditionally can touch a person's life. The individuals that live at my care center are the most forgiving, accepting, and amazing people I've ever known. Every day, as I arrive for work, I am greeted so enthusiastically and sincerely. Sometimes they tease me, sometimes they hug me, but all the time they love me. You can't top that feeling. You really can't.

Working here is educational as well. I work with an Occupational Therapist and a Speech Pathologist. My basic duties are to monitor how the residents are doing with communication and adaptive equipment and report their status back to my two consultants. Then they let me know what needs to be done and I implement it. I am also the staff in charge of hiring, hence my long-ago rant about retention. By having duties that vary, I am able to work both with the residents as well as the employees.

There is a Psychologist on staff. Each Friday we have a meeting where we discuss how our residents are doing behaviorally and give feedback on how med changes have affected their moods. Terms like "Non-selective Cyclic Antidepressant" and "Atypical Anti psychotics" are tossed about like they are every-day English. Many times I just nod my head as if I understand even though I'm confused as hell. Other times the info actually soaks into my brain and I learn something new.

For instance, today I learned that if you take an anti-anxiety drug like Celexa, Lexapro, Paxil, Prozac or Zoloft, you might feel better but you also run the risk of side-effects like Headache, drowsiness, speech impairment, Nausea, diarrhea, weight gain, inflammation of your nasal passages, and seizures. I get anxiety just thinking about all the side-effects. But isn't that interesting?? In actuality, most who take those drugs won't get the side-effects and if they do, the benefit outweighs the bad. Thank goodness all the people here who need an anti-anxiety drug don't actually end up with explosive diarrhea otherwise it would be the staff with the inflamed nasal passages.

In today's meeting some ideas for improving our teamwork were brought up. The feedback that everyone had left me a little more motivated, a little more hopeful for good things in the future. Perhaps even a staff attitude that would encourage people to want to be here. To join a real team and do something good for our residents. Maybe the people I hire in the next few weeks have a shot at some real success within the context of our building.

I hope.

The NeoPets binge continues...

... and I can't make it stop! I just spent my entire lunch break playing games and I've come to the conclusion that I am horrible at them! Alas, they are the only way for me to make neopoint$ so I must endure.

My current focus is obtaining everything possible that has to do with Spardels. Unless you've played NeoPets before I know you are scratching your heads. A spardel is a little blue and white dog that has goofy, bulging eyes (not unlike those of my Monkey) and the ears of a terrier. So CUTE! My gallery is slowly filling with my collection. As fast as I earn the neo-money I am spending it.

The therapeutic value of this is priceless. Spending sprees like this in real, every day life would leave me living in a large box under the freeway. Funny thing is that I hate shopping in real life but on the computer I am a beast!

I better hope that I find a random paint brush soon so I can sell it and get out of this hole I have dug for myself. Maybe if it is a really good one (Come ON, Pirate Paint Brush!!) I can sell it and buy every last Spardel left on my list. Mua haha! I still need Pink, Ghost, Black, Halloween, Custard, Purple, Grey, Green, Faerie, White, Pirate, Disco and Island.

AHHHHHHHH!

................

I can't believe the person who just typed this blog entry is soon to be 30 years old. Am I pathetic or what? Wait, don't answer that.

*cries*

Ms.B