I love my job!

Ever since the boss man intervened and talked to Mr.PBM I've been so much happier at work. Granted, the meeting they had was on Thursday and I was gone from work Friday-Sunday, but already I can feel a difference. I am happy, carefree, Mr.PBMfree. AHH!

"LaaaaaaaaaaHH!"


So now I consider myself to be cleansed. Hooray for all you poor folks to had to read my rants about him for the past few weeks. Now I can go back to blogging about my dogs. I'm kidding. I think.

Another Monday...

Mondays in general are not my favorite day of the week so it is no surprise that a Monday when General Orientation is scheduled makes me want to tear the hair from my head. Since I have little desire to resemble the recent photos of a bald Britney Spears, I have done my best to avoid this scenario for as long as possible. Alas, I finally had to put it on the schedule.

As Human Resource Manager it is my task to create training binders, notify management and assemble all new staff to subject them to each and every one of the department supervisors here at the care center. If the new additions are lucky, they will be in a new-hire group that is outgoing and talkative and the week will fly by quickly and all will be well. If they are quiet and boring reserved the week feels like a month. I think I'm in luck this time around as the new additions seem to be rather upbeat and friendly in addition to the hoped for "outgoing and talkative". As long as the presentations they sit through manage to be exciting enough to keep them awake, I have high hopes for them all!

Luckily, my part of the training will be done at the end of tomorrow's shift. Then a co-worker will take over the MANDT portion of the training. Tuesday afternoons are always my favorite time of the week when Orientation is going on. It's like the joy you feel after the last test of the semester or the relief when the parents of a particularly naughty child return home to relieve you of babysitting duties. It's the feeling that makes you want to throw open a window and sing... or at least you would throw open a window and sing if you were Jeanette MacDonald in a 1950's musical.

"LaaaaaaaaaaHH!"

Yes, that feeling. I like that feeling.

Ms.B

Hollywood's Beautiful Men

Today's focus is on the men in my life who I fondly refer to as DAMN SEXY!

My list is short. Of course my DH is at the very top.



Biased as I am, he is a stud muffin and makes my heart go pity-pat. I think its his eyes. Or maybe something about his smile. Oh,I don't know. I'm just fond of the kid. I wish this computer here at work had the shot of him at our open house. That photo makes my knees weak. Hollywood's finest are put to shame by that photo.

*********


When it comes to Hollywood Lust Objects I have two. One is a classic icon. The other is a relative new-comer. Well, I suppose he's been around a while, he just hasn't been splashed across the media like some of the man whores in today's spotlight.

Sean Connery



Yes, good ol' 007 himself. Alas, I have never seen his James Bond performances. I fell in love with Mr. Connery while watching Darby O' Gill and the Little People when I was knee high. Oooh! As campy as that movie is, Sean Connery was hot hot HOT stuff there. I spent half of my growing up years wishing I was "Katie". Lucky bitch!


Jim Caviezel



My modern day heart throb. I know 90% of the women today are singing the praises of actors like Orlando Bloom and Brad Pitt. And that's okay, really! But it is this man right here that really gets me sparking. Whoooie! I own most of his movies. Alas, I have never seen his portrayal of Jesus Christ in The Passion of the Christ. I'm told it is genius. Due to the fact that I am very sensitive when it comes to media violence, I can not watch it. Also, I choose not to watch a man that I consider to be a "hottie" play the role of someone so loved and revered by the world. I'd feel dirty lusting Jesus. It's just wrong. WRONG, I say!

And there you have it. My short but sweet list of the hot men of Hollywood.

Perhaps, some day I will share my hottie list of Men in Music.

Ms.B

Dreading...

As I shared in my post from a few days ago, I have one of the best jobs in the world. Which is why the fact that I HATE coming to work is such a horrible thing for me.

Normally I spend some time thinking about my blog entry as I type it but today I am going to throw caution to the wind and just vent. By the time this rant is done I will, no doubt, have spelled half the words wrong and used the worst possible grammar but at this point, that doesn't really matter. If I don't unload, I might burst.

Mr.PBM is driving me to the point of insanity. If he's not touching my face, rubbing my shoulder, caressing the electric fan on my desk, waving his hands above my breasts or reaching out to me while singing out my name, he is trying to talk about our first date, or bringing up how he visited me in the hospital while I was sick, or telling me about some cute little inbred puppies that a friend of his has.

I've been rude, I've been nice, I've been indifferent, I've been vague, I've even tried being GONE from my desk for long periods of time! He still won't leave me alone. I have point blank told him "I am very upset with you and I need you to leave me alone for a very VERY long time so that I can forget how annoyed I am. Do NOT talk to me. Don't do it. Pretend I don't exist. Come talk to my office mates, if you must, but pretend I am not there. "

I just can't figure out what to say in order to get him to really and honestly leave me the f$%k alone! My office mate even took him aside today and told him, point blank, to leave me alone and that he was driving me bonkers. "If you don't leave her alone, she is going to kill you!", she said.

Perhaps "kill you" was a major overstatement. I certainly don't want to spend the rest of my life wracked with guilt over killing someone. Especially someone as ignorant and stupid as he is. I'm much to sensitive for that sort of thing. But I would certainly relish the memory of giving him a good, swift kick in the shins! Maybe even a little higher! ARG!

I finally broke down and went to his direct supervisor. I told her how uncomfortable he was making me and that I couldn't make him stay away. Unfortunately, she is going to be out of town for the rest of the week so I might have to go to the Administrator if I want it addressed before next Monday. I hate to involve him but I will do whatever I need to so that I can once again resume the enjoyable feeling I normally have at work. I need to find that feeling again or I might have to quit a job that I truly love. It would kill me inside not to see my residents very often.

********

As I was typing this, Mr.PBM's supervisor came in and told me that she was going to call the Administrator later tonight and discuss the situation with him. Most likely, I am going to meet with him tomorrow and let him know my concerns and feelings. It will lead to a meeting between the big boss man and Mr.PBM. Hopefully I will only be one little issue amongst many other concerns they have. That way my situation is addressed yet it isn't the only topic covered. That will keep PBM's mind busy and he'll have other things to focus on besides me. If this doesn't fix the situation I will have no choice but to quit. It's ridiculous to think I'd have to be the one to leave, but I have to look out for my emotional health. Explaining the situation to PBM's supervisor brought me to tears and I am not normally one to cry.

Now that I've vented my frustrations I feel so emotionally drained. Kind of the same feeling I had after my entry about my job, only not the "warm fuzzy" drained. This is more of a "dread, sick" drained. This kind of drained really sucks.

I hope I am doing the right thing.

Ms.B

Allow me to boast

Since the only real blog entry I've made concerning my two siblings was a long rant about how my brother is a loser, I decided I should share their recent triumphs so as to give a fair report.

My brother has a new, better job now. Yes, I know he's not at the main job he had before which means that yet again he left a place with little or no warning. However, I kind of understand why he did it this time and now he is working at a restaurant called the "Olive Garden". Those of you who have eaten there will know what a step up this is from the 24-hour diner he was in before. He's earning up to $150 a night in tips alone and is really making it on his own. Good boy.

My sister is about to be a senior in High School. The last month of the school year is always the yearly art festival. On a whim, she decided that she'd enter a drawing. Basically she snatched up something she had done recently, put it on a mat, and submitted it. The result--- best in show. Wow. She's really that good. I need to get her to do a sketch for me so I will have something to sell on eBay when she becomes famous. :0

*****

I am trying to focus on the positives lately. Recently, I learned that my cousin, the author, has been diagnosed with liver cancer. I was also told that my 90-something year-old grandmother is showing signs of losing her marbles. Scary. Sad.


Ms.B

Ben Affleck, you softy, you!

Imagine my surprise when, after making the earlier blog entry (which left me rather emotionally drained), I surfed to Yahoo News and found this story. Talk about tugging at a person's heart strings. AWWWW!

Affleck talks at teen pal's graduation

By MATTHEW BARAKAT, Associated Press Writer

FAIRFAX, Va.

Ben Affleck cracked jokes about his film career during a high-school commencement speech Friday while giving a heartfelt tribute to a graduating student he befriended years ago.

Students at Falls Church High School and family members gave a standing ovation to Affleck following his commencement speech, in which he praised 19-year-old Joe Kindregan, a disabled student he met in 1998 on a film shoot. The two built a close friendship.

"Everything I learned about life that really matters ... I learned from Joe," Affleck told the audience.

Kindregan suffers from ataxia-telengiectasia, a rare, degenerative genetic disease. Over the past decade, Affleck has helped Kindregan raise money to develop a cure for the disease.

The close nature of the pair's friendship was evident at Friday's ceremony; Affleck planted a kiss on Kindregan's forehead after being introduced and later playfully swatted him with a rolled-up program.

The two met in 1998 when the Kindregans came to Dulles International Airport to watch a crew shoot the film "Forces of Nature," which starred Affleck. The actor noticed Kindregan, then 10 years old, in his wheelchair and struck up a conversation.

Affleck jokingly explained to the 284 graduating seniors — who most likely never saw the film — that "it was very similar to another movie called "Citizen Kane.'"

Affleck said Kindregan has since been on the set of all of his films — "He liked being on the set of `Daredevil' a lot more than being on the set of (box-office bomb) `Gigli.' But he was too polite to mention it," Affleck said.

Kindregan introduced Affleck to the audience by saying "He is married to the cutest girl (Jennifer Garner) ... but most important he is the best friend you could ever have." Kindregan declined to be interviewed.

Affleck, dressed in a traditional graduation gown, sat on the dais next to Kindregan and other school officials and shook hands with students who came up on stage to receive their diplomas. A few were bold enough to ask for a hug, and Affleck obliged.

"He's a good hugger," said graduate Melinda Wodatch. She said Affleck's presence added to a memorable event. "I think all the kids were actually listening to his speech," she said.

Garner attended the graduation but did not participate in the ceremonies.

Lesser of Two Evils

Due to the nature of my job, I have chosen to remain anonymous on my blog. HIPAA regulations are very strict and those who break them run the risk of receiving large fines and serving jail time. Since I am poor and have no desire to be someone's bitch in prison, I figure I'll just keep my yap shut when it comes to name and location.

To this point I really haven't written much about work, aside from my periodic, therepeutic rants about Mr.PBM and my entry explaining the asinine status of some of the direct care staff.

Working in a care center for individuals with mental handicaps is the most interesting job in the world. Many times, when people hear what I do for a living, they pat my arm and say things like "I could never do that." or "Bless you. Someone has to work with those people." I try not to become offended by their ignorance. After all, I could just as easily hear myself saying the same thing to a brain surgeon. I could never do that.

The most important thing, when it comes to residents like mine, is to remember that they are people just like anyone else. They are adults. They have feelings. If you cut them, they bleed. Honestly, it might seem like I am stating the obvious, but so many people who meet my them become a different person. I've seen people's nasty stares when we're at a public place. I've seen well-meaning volunteers come in and baby talk at them as if they were 6 months old. There is even a gas station down the street that has a restraining order in place against one of our residents because he doesn't know any better than to sneak out of the building with 30 cents in his pocket and head down the road for a coffee. We've asked the store to keep a tab for us and we'll pay for anything he takes, but instead of being compassionate, they decided they'd "Ban the Retard".

What the hell?

I wish I could sit them all down and explain the amazing way that caring for someone unconditionally can touch a person's life. The individuals that live at my care center are the most forgiving, accepting, and amazing people I've ever known. Every day, as I arrive for work, I am greeted so enthusiastically and sincerely. Sometimes they tease me, sometimes they hug me, but all the time they love me. You can't top that feeling. You really can't.

Working here is educational as well. I work with an Occupational Therapist and a Speech Pathologist. My basic duties are to monitor how the residents are doing with communication and adaptive equipment and report their status back to my two consultants. Then they let me know what needs to be done and I implement it. I am also the staff in charge of hiring, hence my long-ago rant about retention. By having duties that vary, I am able to work both with the residents as well as the employees.

There is a Psychologist on staff. Each Friday we have a meeting where we discuss how our residents are doing behaviorally and give feedback on how med changes have affected their moods. Terms like "Non-selective Cyclic Antidepressant" and "Atypical Anti psychotics" are tossed about like they are every-day English. Many times I just nod my head as if I understand even though I'm confused as hell. Other times the info actually soaks into my brain and I learn something new.

For instance, today I learned that if you take an anti-anxiety drug like Celexa, Lexapro, Paxil, Prozac or Zoloft, you might feel better but you also run the risk of side-effects like Headache, drowsiness, speech impairment, Nausea, diarrhea, weight gain, inflammation of your nasal passages, and seizures. I get anxiety just thinking about all the side-effects. But isn't that interesting?? In actuality, most who take those drugs won't get the side-effects and if they do, the benefit outweighs the bad. Thank goodness all the people here who need an anti-anxiety drug don't actually end up with explosive diarrhea otherwise it would be the staff with the inflamed nasal passages.

In today's meeting some ideas for improving our teamwork were brought up. The feedback that everyone had left me a little more motivated, a little more hopeful for good things in the future. Perhaps even a staff attitude that would encourage people to want to be here. To join a real team and do something good for our residents. Maybe the people I hire in the next few weeks have a shot at some real success within the context of our building.

I hope.

The NeoPets binge continues...

... and I can't make it stop! I just spent my entire lunch break playing games and I've come to the conclusion that I am horrible at them! Alas, they are the only way for me to make neopoint$ so I must endure.

My current focus is obtaining everything possible that has to do with Spardels. Unless you've played NeoPets before I know you are scratching your heads. A spardel is a little blue and white dog that has goofy, bulging eyes (not unlike those of my Monkey) and the ears of a terrier. So CUTE! My gallery is slowly filling with my collection. As fast as I earn the neo-money I am spending it.

The therapeutic value of this is priceless. Spending sprees like this in real, every day life would leave me living in a large box under the freeway. Funny thing is that I hate shopping in real life but on the computer I am a beast!

I better hope that I find a random paint brush soon so I can sell it and get out of this hole I have dug for myself. Maybe if it is a really good one (Come ON, Pirate Paint Brush!!) I can sell it and buy every last Spardel left on my list. Mua haha! I still need Pink, Ghost, Black, Halloween, Custard, Purple, Grey, Green, Faerie, White, Pirate, Disco and Island.

AHHHHHHHH!

................

I can't believe the person who just typed this blog entry is soon to be 30 years old. Am I pathetic or what? Wait, don't answer that.

*cries*

Ms.B

Brain broken, can't focus

I finally fell asleep last night at about 3:30 a.m. Correction, I fell asleep this morning at 3:30 a.m. I had hoped that blogging about M would release some sort of pent-up inner energy but I didn't. I almost decided to come in to work early but then common sense kicked in and I realized I was just having crazy thoughts brought on by lack of proper rest.

Even though my day has officially begun now and I am at my desk, I still can't get my brain to shut up, hence my random blog entries. Instead of doing paperwork, I am brazenly typing away. I doubt my boss would even notice I was being "naughty" if he came in here since my work is always done and I'm not a problem employee.

A million thoughts are trying to go through my head at once and its driving me insane!

Need to complete paperwork. Hired new staff. Old staff better be nice to him or I'll kick their asses! I want to get the ground cover planted on the north side of the house. Holy mackerel, Little Miss Drinkalot posted on my blog! I need to charge my cell phone. What's for lunch? I hate Mr.PBM, I have a meeting at 1:30. AHHHHHH!


I really need a nap.

On a more up-beat note

The backyard of the Haven is almost complete. The fence is nearly done, the weeds are gone and grass is growing in the bare patch where the old outhouse was.

Outhouse? Yes, the prior owners had a decorative outhouse (NOT functional) in the backyard when we first toured the place. They were quick to tell us, during our tour, that it was not staying with the property.

........What a shame.


Last night I managed to dig out one of the two metal posts that were being used to support the old, broken fence to the side of the house. With the new post in, there isn't a need for it any more. The other post will come out today. DH says he plans to remove it. If he doesn't have time, I will be tackling it myself.

*flexing*
Me strong woman. Arrrr.
*realizing I have no muscle tone when I flex*

How sad.

In any case, the hardest of the hard work is all done and it is great to see things coming together nicely. I find gardening and yard work to be somewhat therapeutic for me. My hands in the dirt, making things grow... it's wonderful. And nothing tastes better than a tomato from my own vine.

Sad

Yesterday, there was a report in the news that a woman in Texas had hung her three daughters and then killed herself. Depressing, I know. Sometimes I wonder what could make a person do that yet at the same thought I feel grateful that I DON'T know what it feels like to be in that state since that would be a horrible way to feel.

Mothers of the world, please don't hurt your babies. We want a baby so very badly and are unable to have one. Why do babies come to those who can't handle them, yet our home remains empty?

Ms.B

1:30 a.m.

What on earth am I doing awake? Honestly now, all good girls should be asleep in their beds, yet here I am blogging.

Tonight, as I was whisking DH out the door to work, my cell phone rang. It was my good buddy, M.

I met M at about the same time I met my husband. Nice guy. Mid-40s. Divorced 3 times.

Anyhow, from the moment we met, M and I hit it off. Not in a romantic sense, but it was as if we'd been friends for years. Good, platonic, easy-going friends. Nothing more. EVER!

We'd get together and talk about the dates we'd been on with other people. When I met DH, M cheered me on and was happy that I was happy. When he met his current wife online I did the same for him.

He and his wife, E, wed on June 3 of last year, about 8 1/2 months after my own wedding. It was the fourth marriage for M, the first for E. She is from the Ukraine so M&E had to go through the same VISA process as DH and I. Oh, the joys of importing your spouse. M&E tied the knot in Las Vegas, Nevada. DH and I were there for the occasion and we all had a grand time that weekend. Things seemed to be going well.

That's why M's phone call caught me a little off guard.

I really need someone to talk to. E is working 3 jobs and spends her entire day angry with the world. She doesn't cheer up until 8:30 at night. It's like we are roommates instead of married. She goes out with her friends and seems really happy but when she comes home to me she turns mean.

... I didn't know what to say. I hadn't realized it was so bad. Then he shared more.

We aren't doing anything for our anniversary next week. I offered to send her to Vegas with a friend. I'm not going. There isn't even any reason to rent a room somewhere. We haven't had sex since our honeymoon.

.... What does a good friend SAY to that?

E told me that if I want sex, all I have to do is ask. But every time I've hinted at it she's turned me down. She says she's not as easy as American girls.

.... What does an American friend say to that!!!

I suggested he talk to her about how he feels and he said he already had; that E had told him that she "is the way she is" and nothing would change. Even though he insisted that he still loved her, I could tell he was defeated. My heart broke for him. I managed to survive the rest of the conversation by low-level-managing M with comments like "That's so horrible.", "Hrmm..." and "I'm so sorry!".

Near the end of the phone call he had one more unexpected comment for me.

Some time you should send "DH" to work and you and I can catch a movie together, just you and me.

I gave the obligatory response of "Oh, sure. Maybe we can do that some time. I hope you feel better soon, blah blah blah." that supportive friends DO but my heart wasn't in it this time. Why on EARTH would he need to have me send off my DH and spend alone time with me? I know he needs a friend and I definitely want to be there for him but I am wise enough to see the trouble that a situation like that could lead to.

We'd go see a flick, then he'd drive me home. In the drive-way he'd start to cry about the demise of his marriage and I'd hug him for comfort. Then one thing could lead to another and.... I'd have to kick his ass for trying to make a move on me. A great friendship would be destroyed. I can't risk it. And even if the night was innocent, how would it appear to his wife?

Perhaps I am jumping to conclusions about M's intentions. Maybe the extra attention I've received from Mr.PBM lately has given me illusions of grandeur regarding my effect on the male species.

Perhaps.

Ms.B